Anderson watched us walk down the hall together. I pretended that Jackson’s warm fingertips on my back didn’t send a rush of butterflies to my belly, and that I didn’t see the look of disapproval in his best friend’s eyes. Typically, they had their weird stand-off in the hallway. I understood it a little better knowing Anderson’s past, but it still hurt.
“Bye, boys,” I said, leaving them to their drama.
Jackson’s fingers slipped off my back. “Later.”
During class, Anderson ignored me. Well, maybe not ignored. He was watching me when he thought I didn’t notice. I felt more than saw his eyes on me. Perhaps Anderson wasn’t totally immune to me after all.
The rest of the week was pretty much the same. Boys swirling around me. Girls giving me the stink eye. Even though things were different from a couple weeks ago, at the same time, I still felt the hovering anxiety from so many people watching me. Even though Jackson had publicly staked his claim, I was curious when Benjamin walked up to our table in Chemistry on Thursday before Anderson came into class.
“Hi, Heaven.”
I eyed him warily. Things had calmed down a little bit since Jackson had been hovering around. Benjamin was nice but a little dorky. I had a hard time seeing him attempting to pull something over on me. His eyes were glued to my chest of course, but I couldn’t blame him. I had a pretty rocking rack.
“What’s up Benjamin?”
“I just wanted to know if I could borrow your notes from English. I had a dentist appointment.”
I breathed a sigh of internal relief. I really didn’t want to have to say no to another fake sex/fake make-out/fake coffee date. “Sure, stop by my locker after school and I’ll give them to you, okay?”
A loud scraping noise interrupted us and Anderson made his presence known. Benjamin glanced in his direction and offered a smile. Anderson gave a weak one in return.
“Great, after school?”
I nodded. “I’ll see you then.”
He walked away and the silence from our little table was deafening. The one person I’d hoped to gain attention from was still ignoring me, that was, until that moment.
That was the day Anderson decided to break his wall of silence.
“You know, he’s a dick.”
That was what he said after almost a week. Regardless, my heart stuttered at the sound of his voice. His words were quiet, low so Mr. Baker wouldn’t hear. In return, I never looked up from my paper.
“What was that? You’re a dick?”
I did look up for the reaction. I was rewarded with a grimace and then the hint of a smile. The only one I’d seen on him in a week.
“Are you talking about Benjamin, because he only—"
“I was talking about Jackson.”
I pretended to mull this information over, tapping my finger on my lips. His eyes darted away from mine. Yeah, he was watching. “This may work for me, then.”
“What?”
“Jackson being a dick. I’m a bitch and apparently a whore, so, yeah, we may be a good match.”
I expected another laugh but instead Anderson’s expression closed. I watched the bone in his jaw flex and retract. This simple motion was completely mesmerizing. Mesmerizing. I considered rubbing my thumb on the sharp angle of the bone jutting out. My fingers twitched and he moved, snapping me out of my trance. I realized that although that bony jaw was hot, it was also a little scary. He was pissed. In all our years of being classmates, we had always had an easy friendship. This? This was so different.
“You’re not.”
I flicker of hope spread through my chest. “I’m not what?”
“A bitch.”
His jaw was still set and his green eyes held mine. I could hardly breathe. He said I wasn’t a bitch. Which was nice. Awesome. What he didn’t say was, “I don’t think you’re a whore.”
“And?”