Holding On To Heaven (Allendale Four 2)

“Don’t count on it,” I muttered, wavering between the desire to laugh or cry. The guys didn’t know my dad, what he was capable of, and why he’d vanished from our lives in the first place.

Now I couldn’t help but wonder why he was back.

John Reeves wasn’t an imposing man, at least, not physically. The Allendale boys dwarfed him, but he carried a gravitas that exceeded size. In a word, he was charismatic. Something that had both helped and hurt him in life.

That charisma had mostly just hurt me and my mom, and seeing him in the yard was a shock.

“Heaven,” he said, spreading his arms wide.

“Hi, Daddy.” As much as I didn’t want to fall into his embrace, I couldn’t help myself. He was my dad and he’d been gone for seven years. Seven long years. Tears threatened to spill over, just from the emotion of it all. He squeezed me tight, the kind of bear-hug only a father could give. My mom stood quietly in the corner, happy, but apprehensive. This was big for her, too.

“Let me get a look at you,” he said, pushing me back. I’m in a graduation dress—a hand-me down from Amber. It was a sundress with thin straps at the top, and a full floral skirt. The top was a sweetheart shape, slightly more revealing than I’d like him to see me in. He assessed me and suddenly I felt like a child, not an eighteen-year-old on my way to college. Not a woman with experiences of my own, but the little girl that watched as her father left and her life fell apart.

I spotted the disapproval in his eyes but he said nothing about it other than, “You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman, Heaven.”

I eyed my father, his skin a warm tan. He looked relaxed, and his expensive car, clothing, and accessories were out of place o

n our shabby porch.

“You look good, too.”

“God was good for me while I was gone.” He cast Mom a glance and her cheeks flushed. I didn’t like it. I also didn’t like it when he looked over my shoulder at the boys. They’d been uncharacteristically quiet since they got out of the car. “And who are these young men?”

“Daddy, these are my friends.” I introduced them individually, making sure not to linger on anyone too long. They showed no fear as they each shook his hand, bringing a swell of pride to my chest. Amber and Benjamin strolled up and I almost sighed in relief to be able to introduce them as well. Anything to take the focus off the boys. I stole a glance at my mother, but her stoic expression told me she hadn’t revealed the truth of my relationship with them.

Not yet.

And he never would know, if I could help it.

My father stared at everyone, trying to place faces and who they were and what they meant to me. “It’s wonderful to see that Heaven has found a family here in Allendale. My own community of Oceanside has always been important to me. A sense of belonging is important.”

“Kids, there’s a bunch of food and drinks in the back,” my mom said, going full hostess. “I know you’re starving after the ceremony.”

“Thanks, Ms. Reeves,” Amber said, pulling Benjamin behind her. The boys looked at me and I nodded, knowing I needed one more minute with my mom.

When we were alone, I stepped close. “What is he doing here?”

She wrung her hands. “I don’t know, Heaven, but he’s here and he’s your father. He wanted to be here.”

The hurt in her voice was evident. It should be. He’s tanned and relaxed while she’d been working double shifts at the police station to help pay for food on the table and save for college.

“We’ll get through this,” I told her. “And get on with our lives.”

She nodded but grabbed my arm. “No matter what, Heaven, do not let him know about what’s really going on with those boys. I’m okay with your decision. I know you trust them and I do too, but your father? He won’t see it that way. You know how he is.”

I looked down at the man I hadn’t seen in seven years as he spoke quietly to my mother’s supervisor and knew she was right. We’ll get through today, keep quiet about our lives, and hopefully he’ll disappear for another seven years.

2

“So,” Amber said, cornering me in the kitchen, “did you get a chance to talk to them?”

“No, not yet,” I whispered back. “And with my dad here, I don’t see it happening.”

“Well, it can wait. I mean, it’s important, but not like, life or death, or anything.”

No, what I wanted to talk to the guys about wasn’t life or death. Just, you know, relationship important. It could definitely wait. If I ever got up the courage.

“Why are you so worried about it? I’d think they’d be into you wanting to expand your, uh,” she lowered her voice, “level of intimacy.”