Holding On To Heaven (Allendale Four 2)

I looked around, making sure no one heard that, but we were alone. “It’s weird. I mean, can you imagine talking to Benjamin about the fact he’s holding back on you?”

She nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, that’s not a problem.”

“Of course, it’s not,” I whispered. “What are the odds I have four—count them—four boyfriends that all want to take it slow?”

“You and Anderson have sex, right?”

My stomach fluttered at the mention of it. “Yeah, but I can tell he’s restraining himself.” I leaned against the counter. My cheeks burned before I got the next comment out of my mouth, but it was driving me crazy and I had to talk to someone about it. “They’re big guys. Athletic. Strong. Is it wrong that I want them to use a little of that power on me?”

Amber shook her head. “Not at all. Maybe it’s just an access thing—we all still live at home—even Oliver in that apartment of his. Once we leave for school, you’ll have way more time together and the opportunity for privacy.”

I smiled at Amber. We’d only become friends this year, after she stood up for me with the bullying and harassment, but she got me. We could talk about almost anything; school, guys, sex…we’d even agreed to room together at the University.

“Heaven,” my dad said, walking into the room. Amber tensed in his presence. “I’d hoped we’d have time to spend together this summer, but I hear you’re starting school in a few weeks.”

“That would have been great,” I lied, “but yeah, we got early admission. Amber and I both start the summer semester in mid-June. Gives us a leg up on the rest of the freshmen class.”

Truthfully, I didn’t want to stick around Allendale without the guys. They all had athletic obligations and had to arrive at school for conditioning and pre-season training. I won’t deny that a summer of freedom in the co-ed dorms seemed like a great way to start.

Not that the guys would be living there. Just me and Amber. They all had to stay in athletic housing. It was good, though. I loved my boys, but a little space to experience college wasn’t a bad idea. The past year taught me about being comfortable in my own skin—branching out and experiencing new things. I wanted that from college and from the boys I loved.

Living in the co-ed dorm would make things less noticeable, though. No curfews or rules on male visitors. I couldn’t wait for the experience.

My dad leaned against the counter. He’d taken off his jacket and rolled the sleeves of his crisp white shirt up over his elbows, revealing an expensive gold watch. With his tie removed, I could see the cross around his neck, the one he’s worn since he was a teenager and committed his life to Jesus at church camp. Just having my father so close by made me uncomfortable. In many ways he was a stranger, but I also knew about his expectations. His beliefs, and I had no doubt he could ferret out mine quickly.

“Heaven can you grab that bag of ice in the laundry room?”

“Sure, Mom,” I said, slipping through the kitchen to the adjoining laundry room. The ice was in the freezer and I opened the top door to find it.

I felt the presence of a body behind me and an arm slipped around my waist. My senses were overwhelmed with the warm scent of soap mingled with the slight tinge of chlorine.

“Need any help?” Anderson asked, kissing me on the neck.

My knees wobbled but my stomach twisted with nerves and I pulled away, looking toward the door. He glanced over his shoulder. “Something wrong?”

I felt the hard muscle of his abs beneath his dress shirt and the pressure of his fingers against my hips. All I wanted was to run away with these guys, feel their bodies, and wrap myself in the safety of their arms. But that wasn’t realistic, and their sense of overprotectiveness was already a bit of an issue.

“Having my dad here freaks me out a little.”

His green eyes held mine and I noticed the tic of irritation in his jaw. “Is there something you’re not telling us? Because you know we’ve got your back.”

I touched his cheek. “I know, babe, thank you. My dad is just complicated. Having him back in our lives is unexpected. I just need to get used to it.”

“I can understand that. You and your mom have been alone for a long time.” My mom. I couldn’t believe she let him back in the house. But then again…was it really a surprise? She’d never had much self-control when he was around.

“I just like how things are, you know?”

“Change makes you nervous. I may have a little experience with that.” He bent down and kissed me softly on the lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth.

I twisted his shirt in my hands. “Speaking of changes, I uh, kind of wanted to talk to you guys about something.”

His eyebrow rose curiously. “Yeah?”

“Later, when we’re alone.”

My mom shouted from the other room. “Heaven!”

“Coming!”