Holding On To Heaven (Allendale Four 2)

“Hayden told me everything. I know what you’re all doing. Why you treat me with kid gloves. You think I’m going to lose it again. That I’m vulnerable and if you push me too hard—in life, in bed—I’ll break.”

His lack of response and the tight tic of his jaw was all I needed to know that Hayden hadn’t spoken just for himself. Guilt shadowed Anderson’s expression. “Perfect, so you think it, too.”

He spoke carefully. “I know we care about you—desperately—and that some of the shit that went down last year was intense. You’ve needed time to heal, not a bunch of horndogs humping your leg all the time.”

Tears welled in my eyes and I pushed them away with the back of my hand.

“You guys don’t get to make that decision for me. We’re either in this relationship together or not at all.”

Anderson’s face was devastatingly handsome even in the shadowy lamplight that brightened the walkways through campus. He reached for my arm and rubbed his finger along one of the scars I no longer hid. He bent down and kissed the puckered skin with warm lips and a tenderness impossible to describe.

Acts like that made it super hard to stay angry with him.

“I think we need to talk.”

“Me and you?” he asked.

“All of us.”

He nodded and ran his hand down my arm, linking his fingers with mine. “Tomorrow. My room. We can have some privacy and hopefully clear some of this up, okay?”

“Thank you.”

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back. “There’s room in our relationships for growth. I believe that, and it’s possible we’ve been too protective, but you have to understand how we feel. You’re the most precious thing in our lives. We’ll guard you with our everything. All the time.”

His words sent a chill down my spine. I knew I had something special with the Allendale Four, I just didn’t fully realize the lengths they’d go to protect me. But they also had to give me agency in my own decisions. I should have a say in our relationship—not just be directed. If I wanted that, I’d go back home.

6

Anderson

A million thoughts ran through my mind as I kissed Heaven goodnight outside her dorm. I did have to get up early for practice. I had routine, but damn if this girl didn’t constantly want me to break it and every other well-defined rule in my life.

“’Night,” she said, for the third time, not wanting me to walk away. She’d been mad when I followed her across campus. Upset really, embarrassed, but we’d fix that. I swore to her we would.

I groaned into her shoulder, feeling the instant hard-on in my pants and the elevated heartbeat that happened every time she touched me. She’d had this effect on me since we were thirteen and it never got easier. Not after we’d had sex. God no, it only increased, knowing what it felt like to be with her—in her.

I kissed her quick, fast on the lips, then ripped myself away like a Band-Aid.

“Love you,” I said, already walking away.

“Love you, too.”

She was like a damned magnet, but thankfully she finally walked inside and shut the door.

My phone buzzed.

It was her.

Don’t forget tomorrow

I won’t.

I passed a group of students, all a little wobbly on their feet heading back to the dorms. I skirted out of the way, not wanting to be trampled or vomited on. Taking the path back to my building, I scrolled through the phone and found the A4 group chat.

She’s home. Safe.

Jackson-You with her?