Our relationship had escalated during college—we lost the shy, Heaven’s- fragile-mentality with a lot of practice and communication. But the feel of her lips against mine, the weight of her body—different, curvier, harder—brought out a hunger I’d buried deep inside.
I didn’t just want the old Heaven. I wanted the new one—the adult one. The bold one leaning into me right now.
The street light flickered over our heads and a car door slammed down by the street. The movements jolted me back and I looked down at her, my heart racing, my cock hard. Heaven licked her lips and said, “Come inside?”
I nodded and let her lead me in.
21
Heaven
WhatamIdoing? WhatamIdoing? WhatamIdoing?
The thought ran through my head as I led Jackson to the stairwell. It was the old high school stairway that led to the second floor, and at the top landing Jackson pushed me into the corner and said, “There were so many times I wished I could have taken you at Allendale High.”
“On the stairs?”
“God yes,” he said into my neck. A chill ran down my spine. “Or in the locker room, beneath the bleachers, baseball dugout, classroom… I would have fucked you any damn place if I could have gotten away with it.”
“You do realize we didn’t have sex until almost the end of the year.”
He smiled a deadly, seductive grin. “I said I wished. You know I was thinking about it long before we did it.”
The fact that he wanted me so much then and that it hadn’t changed one bit ignited a spark of lust. Pure lust, which wasn’t the same as commitment, and that was what I could give. The glint in his eye told me the same of him.
My hands moved to the buttons of his pants, all shyness gone. “My neighbors have a pretty strict noise policy, it’s probably better if we take it out of the stairwell.”
“You ruin all my fun.”
“I’ll mak
e up for it, I promise.”
I didn’t know where my sudden bravado came from. Maybe just knowing we were on borrowed time. One last chance to shut the door between us, once and for all. I fumbled with the keys while opening my door, my knees wobbly with desire. Jackson stood behind me, pushed my hair away and planted slow, seductive kisses along my neck.
I finally got the key in the slot and turned, exhaling in relief. His hands were on me before we crossed the threshold and I’d already unbuttoned the top button of his pants, fingers grazing at his zipper.
The door slammed too loudly, followed by the thud of my back against the wood. His movements weren’t quite frantic, but there was an intensity, like he knew, like he felt as I did; that wouldn’t get another opportunity and he didn’t want to waste a moment. I caught my breath as he eased the hem of my skirt higher, watching him take in the new, older me.
Did he care that I was no longer that girl?
His fingers skimmed my thighs, traveling to my hips. I watched his Adam’s apple bob and there was no doubt about the desire lurking underneath. I was struck in this moment of how much I wanted to feel the energy coursing between us. How much I missed it. And when his hands grazed my belly and his lips crashed against mine, I threw caution to the wind and chased it.
It didn’t take long before our clothing hit the floor and my eyes were glued, glued, to his rippling six-pack. His body was thicker than before, more muscular, the deep-set V defining the space of his hips. The trail of his hair was coarser, less spare. I ran my fingers through it, reveling at the difference. We were still standing by the door of my apartment, intent and focused on one another.
“Jesus,” he muttered, fingering the black lace edge of my panties. Ones I thought I wore on a whim but now I wondered…did I have this planned? Did I make this happen? Lea had planted that idea in my head and more mature or not, bringing one of these men to my bed tonight was not unpredictable.
Our eyes met and a tiny line formed over the bridge of his nose. “I can stop anytime—"
“No,” I said quickly. Firmly. “Don’t stop. Do you hear me? Don’t you fucking dare.”
The line vanished and his lips curved and in an instant, I was lifted off the ground, wrapped in his strong arms. He took me to the bed, easing me down so our bodies never stopped touching. The hard tip of his erection pressed into my stomach.
My skin felt overheated and that only intensified as he moved down my body, fingers tugging my panties over my hips. I was hot, wet, and not even embarrassed. Those days were over. Jackson had fucked me a dozen different ways. He’d seen me begging for more, but with the way his fingers dipped between my legs, the way his tongue flicked out and licked his lips, he wasn’t here to play games. He lowered his shorts, cock springing with release and stood over me. I saw the foil square in his fingers, watched him rip the corner with his teeth. I writhed, seeking friction as he rolled it down his hard erection and when he was finished, and he climbed back over my body, I sighed in relief. I sighed into his mouth, tongue hot and slippery. I gasped when he entered, swift and confident. I shuddered at the feeling—something I’d thought I’d lost—and when he rolled us over, allowing me to be on top, allowing me to set the pace, allowing me to have him one more time, like I hadn’t had the chance before when it all ended too quickly. Abruptly. I kept my eyes open, watching him, me, the two of us. Watching every moment, knowing it would be the last.
The bed shifted beneath me and my eyes flew open, trying to make sense of the motion. That was when I felt the slight soreness between my legs and the hollow ache below my belly.
That was when I remembered the night before and my eyes flicked to Jackson’s half-naked body as he rummaged for his clothes. He noticed me noticing him and he crawled toward me.