“I will.”
“Don’t make me look stupid.”
I stared at my phone. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Now that you’re injured, your reputation and endorsements rely on more than your athletic ability. If people start digging around in your past and find out about the relationship you had with Heaven, the one you all had with her? It’s career suicide.”
“No one will know. You’re blowing this out of proportion,” I said, feeling sick to my stomach.
“I hope you’re right,” she said. “Because I’m not going to be collateral damage when it blows up.”
Sabine hung up and I tossed the phone on the bench next to me. I ran my hands through my hair while a million thoughts ran through my mind. Would people dig into my past with Heaven? Would they find out and expose our unconventional relationship to the world? Did I care? I thought maybe I did but after last night, I wasn’t sure. I also knew I could handle the scrutiny, but Heaven? She didn’t deserve it. She’d been so nervous just taking her place on the red carpet. A place she earned. Once she relaxed, she’d been so fucking happy the night before. So confident. She’d found her place in the world and the last thing I needed to do was screw it up.
30
Heaven
Since the show was on hiatus, I had more time to be helpful with Hayden’s recovery. Two days after the party I drove over to the gym in search of Oliver or Jackson to figure out what needed to be done. Chauffer? Gym partner? The premiere had gone so well that I wanted to spend more time with him.
Preferably without cameras.
I made my way up the staircase toward the guys’ office when Jackson stepped into view. I stopped short, thrown off at seeing him even though I’d expected to run into him. I never got used to his handsome face. Never.
“Hi,” he said, cramming his hands into his pockets. He looked good of course, V-neck sweater that clung to his muscular arms and tapered around his hips. That lock of curly blond hair hung in his eyes, desperate for me to push it aside. I kept my distance and nodded in greeting.
“Sounds like you had fun with Hayden the other night.”
“Yeah, we did.”
“He said your work is fantastic and that you should be proud.”
The compliment from Hayden and hearing it from Jackson meant more to me than I expected. “I’m not used to saying so, but yeah, I am proud. The series is good. I’ve got a great team.”
He clutched the metal railing. The clank of weights hitting one another echoed up the stairwell. The stairwell seemed to shrink around us. I couldn’t escape the scent of his detergent. The heat from his body.
“Did you tell Oliver or Hayden about Spencer?” I asked. We hadn’t spoken since that day.
He shook his head. “I decided you punching him in the face was enough of a beatdown for the time being.”
“Good idea.”
“I thought so.”
“Have you thought any more about my question from the other day?” I asked. “About what you want?”
My question surprised him and this time he was knocked off guard. It felt good to have the upper hand for once.
When he recovered he smiled slowly, revealing the dimple in his cheek, and I knew a smirk was only a breath away. He still hadn’t replied, and I knew very well what his hesitation meant.
“I don’t think I’ve ever wavered on what I wanted,” he finally admitted.
“So maybe we’re not finished.”
We’d been tiptoeing around the truth for so long, but it was time to clear the air. “No, I don’t think so.”
He took a step down and I took one up and his hand reached for me, brushing strands of hair over my ear.
“This is dangerous,” I declared.