“Thank you.”
“But you need to get ready. This is his house, too.” She checks the time and stands. “I’ve got to get back, with Mrs. Nye on her honeymoon and Star working the coffee shop, I’ve got a lot more responsibility at the lodge.”
“That’s great.”
She heads to the door. “So if the Rangers ask about you?”
“Tell them I?
??m not available.”
“What about Smith?”
I pause, thinking of the tall, broad-shouldered park ranger with crystal blue eyes and a jaw made of steel. I wrinkle my nose and shake my head. “Especially Smith.”
2
Sierra
“The HVAC can be repaired, which is cheaper than a full replacement, but you’ve also got to fix that leak in the bathroom along with the damage that it caused on the wall behind the sink. I think you need to get an exterminator out here. Critters like to move in when a house is empty. I found some droppings in the back closet.”
I wrinkle my nose, as much at the extensive list the inspector is giving me as at the information about droppings.
“Great.”
He jots a few more things on the list. An outlet needs to be repaired in the kitchen. A hole in the roof along with the flashing by the fireplace chimney. A sinking feeling threatens to pull me under as I watch him scribble notes.
What have I gotten myself into?
“If you need some referrals on contractors and repair people, I’ve got some,” he says, handing me a card along with the paperwork.
“How much do you think all of this will cost?”
He rests the clipboard on his slight stomach paunch and he runs a hand through his graying hair. “Don’t hold me to it, but with paint and hauling out everything you don’t want, you’re probably looking at ten-to-twenty thousand.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
He gives me a sympathetic grin. “Yep. But the more you can do yourself, the cheaper it is. Grab some friends and family and put them to work.”
When my parents died, they left a life insurance policy that helped me cover the cost of the house in Lee Vines and the attached coffee shop. There’s money in a trust for Dex when he turns twenty-one. This house is paid for, but I’ve had to pay the taxes and for upkeep over the last five years. There’s a little money left from the insurance fund, but not much. That money will have to stretch to cover the upgrades on the house.
“You could always just sell the place As-Is. There’s no shame in that. You’ll take a bit of a hit, but it takes the responsibility off of you as a seller for any problems.”
“I’ve considered that.” But it doesn’t feel right. My parents provided a safe, comfortable home for me and Dexter. I want to offer that back to whoever buys it in the future. Also, I do feel shame in letting the place fall apart so badly. I owe my family more than that.
“Thank you,” I tell him as he packs up his supplies. I watch him head down the stairs and out to his car. Feeling the wave pulling me under. I take a long deep breath, trying to settle my nerves, and look around the house.
There’s so much work to be done and I’m resolved to do it.
But not today.
I do what I’ve always told the boys to do when they feel overwhelmed. Get outside and get some air. I grab my hiking boots, a bottle of water, and my backpack.
I’m headed into the Sierras.
My father is the one that taught me nature has healing properties. Getting out in the sun, away from electronics and people and day-to-day stressors. Finding water is even better—a creek, river, or waterfall. He’s the one that showed me the trail I’m on right now. The winter snow has melted, leaving the grassy areas green and lush. I follow the path, and I hear the water before I see it. I take a deep breath, sucking in the cool, early summer air, and spot the clear stream ahead. I find a soft patch of grass on the bank and spread out my jacket to sit on. Once I’m settled, I unlace my boots and dip my feet into the water, feeling the shock of chill.
I let them stay under the water, turning numb.