“We don’t know what kind of fallout this is going to have. On you, on me, or on the NFL. It’s impossible to know. But one thing I’m certain of is of you and me together. That will never be in jeopardy.”
“What about when we’re bombarded by paparazzi every day relentlessly with no break?”
“Won’t be much different to my life right now, but there are ways around that. No one’s bothered us while we’ve been training.”
“Because they didn’t know where we were. I need something more than a hope we’ll stay together when our careers die and our teammates turn on us. I think being in our bubble has warped our vision. My family’s supportive. Damon, Jackson, and that whole group of great guys are everything we need this world to be, but that’s just it. The rest of the world isn’t like them, and until Alan started saying shit about why this is a bad idea, I guess I didn’t think about what reality would look like. Alan’s just the beginning. The world is full of Alans and Hendersons.”
“Alan will be fired if he doesn’t get on board.”
“As easy as that? You’ll walk away from the guy who got you millions of dollars over the last however many years, because you didn’t get your way?”
“Yep. Because this is more important to me.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re impulsive and always get what you want. Maybe this is one time you need to step back and look at the facts. This isn’t going to be easy, Marc.”
I’m torn in two. The college guy in love with his best friend wants to do this—throw caution to the wind and do what I’ve wanted to do for years, which is tell people how I feel about Talon. The smarter or perhaps dumber part—haven’t figured out which it is yet—wants to take more time.
If I can’t even handle Talon’s agent’s negativity, how am I going to handle everyone else? The team, reporters, social media. It’s going to be a bloodbath.
Does that mean I’m using him as an excuse? My head’s all fuzzy right now, and I can’t make sense of anything.
“I’m doing this,” Talon says, “whether you’re in or not. If you choose to walk out right now, the article will only be about me, but I’m still doing it.”
I grunt. “Why the fuck are you so stubborn?”
“Why the fuck didn’t you bring all this up before now?”
“Because I didn’t realize this was an issue until today. You know how you sense shit on the field? It’s like that. I can’t explain it, but my gut is telling me we’re not ready. Or … I’m not ready. Then your agent stood there and reminded me that you have everything to lose—more so than me—but I’m beginning to think that’s not true. This could be the final nail in the coffin when it comes to my career. You’re big enough to bounce back. I’m not. I’ve been fighting for the last few months trying to keep my career. Doing this could end it the second it gets out.”
Talon hold ups his hands in a just wait gesture. “You’re ping-ponging all over the place. Is this about my career or yours? Is it about us now or what we’ll become?” He steps closer and reaches for my arms, rubbing them soothingly from shoulder to elbow and back again. “What are you really scared of?”
I pull away and slink down on the bed. “I think I need time. I like where we’re at. We’re good. Why mess with it? Don’t fix what ain’t broke, right?”
“But don’t you see it? The world is broken, which means we’re broken. Having to hide this shouldn’t be a necessity or a choice. It shouldn’t be anything. It shouldn’t even be a factor in anyone’s lives but our own.”
“And that’s my point! It is a factor, and maybe I’m not ready to face that yet.”
Talon’s hand lands on my shoulder. “If this is a simple matter of you not being ready, then take all the time you need. I’m not going to force you to do anything here today, and if you want me to wait for you, I will. But can you sit there and tell me that’s all there is to it?”
My heart rate calms down a little, but it does nothing to put out the raging inferno in my gut that just won’t die down.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “It’s everything.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
TALON
“I need some air.” Miller’s last words before he walks out of the hotel room don’t exactly fill me with confidence.
I don’t know what’s going on with him—I don’t think he knows himself—so I can’t fix it. I’m a fixer. It’s what I do. I want something, I go for it. Something stands in my way, I handle it.