“It was what you wanted to believe. It lulled you into a false sense of security.” Dr. Clark nodded. “It happens. But your body is breaking down, Dani. It can’t handle the stress. Yesterday was its last-ditch effort to get your attention.”
“Why do I feel better when Noah is close?”
Dr. Clark chuckled. “I’m sure Noah can answer that better than I can. But I can say this. He understands your bewilderment. He went through the same denial you did. Suffered greatly for it. Talk to him and let him help you. Let me help you.”
“And they can’t call me?”
“No,” Dr. Clark assured me. “We’re going to concentrate on getting you better. One day at a time.” He indicated our clasped hands. “I think you’re in the right place.”
Noah squeezed my fingers. “She is. I’ll look after her.” He met my eyes. “Always.”
His words comforted me. His touch grounded me. He was right. I needed to do this for myself, for him, and for our future.
“All right,” I said to Dr. Clark. “Tell me what you need.”
Noah
I peeked into my bedroom, watching Dani. She was asleep on the bed, curled up tight, holding my pillow. She looked peaceful, and I pulled the door shut quietly and went downstairs.
My mom handed me a cup of coffee. “Asleep?”
“Yeah.” I ran a hand through my hair. “All she does is sleep and cry. I’m scared to death, but Doc C says it’s to be expected.”
Mom smiled sadly. “You don’t remember what you were like when you came home after the hospital, do you?”
“Not really. Not much anyway.”
“You slept and paced. Every day, all day, all night. I could barely get you to eat or come out of your room. I was terrified.”
I frowned, trying to recall those first hazy days. “For how long?”
“About three days. Then you appeared at breakfast. Showered, dressed, and wanting to get out of the house. You disappeared for hours, just walking. When you got home, you ate as if you hadn’t seen food for months. Then you crashed and slept for days, it seemed.” She smiled. “You were readjusting, Noah. Dani is doing the same thing. It’s only been two days. She doesn’t cry much until she sees you.”
“I make her cry?” I asked, horrified.
“You make her feel safe enough to cry, Noah. She needs to get it out. And she’s exhausted, so she needs to sleep. She’ll find her feet. Be patient.”
“I hate to see her like this. She thinks she’s weak, but she isn’t. She’s just worn-out.”
“You were the same. Your male pride took it hard. Of course, that little bitch didn’t help.”
I gasped, hearing my mom swear.
She laughed at my reaction. “What? She was. Little gold-digging tramp.”
I snickered at her vehemence.
She covered my hand with hers. “Relax, my son. Dani’s in the right place. She’ll get stronger. Better.”
I leaned forward. “Mom, I want her to get better. But I don’t want her to leave.” I paused. “Ever.”
Her eyes widened. “Noah.”
“I love her.”
She smiled. “Just like your father. He told me he loved me on our second date. Informed me we’d be getting married on our third. I agreed with him, but I refused to let him know.” She winked. “Made him work for it.”
I grinned, then became serious. “I don’t want to frighten her off.”
“Oh, hush. She’s as crazy for you as you are for her. She lights up every time she sees you.”
“In between the sobs,” I added dryly.
“Like I said, because she’s safe. That shows the trust she has in you. Give her some time to settle, then tell her.”
“I will.” I glanced at my watch. “I need to get back. Tell her I was here and I’ll be back soon.”
“I’ll look after her.”
“I know. That gives me a lot of peace of mind.” I paused, indicating the bag I had brought in. “I had no idea what she would want. I probably forgot the important stuff.”
“I’ll tell her.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Dani
I woke up slowly, blinking in the late-morning sun. I sat up and stretched, feeling different than I had the past two days. Calmer, more at ease. Grounded.
I pulled my legs to my chest, resting my chin on them. It was so peaceful here. None of the noise. None of the thousands of other people headed in the same direction as me. There were no tall skyscrapers to block the view of the blue sky. No smog hanging in the air, making it hard to breathe.
I had been terrified after leaving the doctor’s office. Noah had taken my phone away, setting it on the top of the mantel to stop me from staring at it. It was a full day before I realized what Dr. Clark had said was true. They wouldn’t be calling. Martin couldn’t make demands. I didn’t have to go back to the office. I had burst into tears, and it felt as if all I had done since then was cry.