Redemption (The Protectors 8)

I’d tried arguing with him, but the man was even more stubborn than Phoenix. He told me that if I confessed, Seth wouldn’t back up my story at all. He was fully prepared to say only two people had been involved in his parents’ deaths.

None of it had made sense to me, but I couldn’t deny that I was secretly relieved.

Because I really didn’t want to go back to prison. And if Seth didn’t benefit from me being punished, it almost made the whole thing moot. In effect, Ronan and Seth had taken the wind out of my sails.

And now I had no idea what to do with myself.

After the cops had left and Henry had been taken away, it had just been Phoenix and me since my father hadn’t been around. But I hadn’t been ready to talk to Phoenix and I’d told him as much. When he’d pressed the issue, I’d told him a half-truth…that I no longer trusted him.

I’d never forget the look of hurt in his eyes for as long as I lived. He’d left after that and I hadn’t heard from him again.

My words had been partially true. Because that was how I’d felt at the time. Now, I wasn’t so sure. Yes, he’d lied to me. But the more I’d thought about things from his side, I’d started to understand the position he’d been in. And I hadn’t exactly been forthcoming about my relationship with T. Through his eyes, my actions had looked suspicious. And while it was too late to do anything about it now, I realized if I’d told him about T and what he’d been doing, Phoenix would have believed me.

I’d been tempted to call him a few times over the past week, but every time I dialed, I hung up again.

Because I had nothing to offer him.

And because I now understood what Seth, his husband and their children meant to Phoenix. They were his family.

I couldn’t take that from him. Because even if Seth and Ronan had forgiven me, I was still a reminder of what Seth had lost, what had been taken from him. That fact didn’t exactly make for comfortable family get-togethers.

And I couldn’t begrudge Phoenix his family.

Another round of knocking had me getting up off the bed and grabbing my single duffle bag. It was surreal to finally be leaving the place I’d spent so many of my worst years in. I hadn’t bothered telling my father I was moving out, because I didn’t care what happened to him. I owed him nothing and with Dina dead and Henry gone, there was nothing tying me to this hellhole anymore. I had no clue what I was going to do, but I knew it would start at the bus station. I had a few hundred dollars in my pocket, my last paycheck from work, and I was going to use a good chunk of it to buy a ticket to anywhere but here.

I’d been tempted to move closer to Walla Walla which was where Washington State Penitentiary was, but being closer to Hank and not being able to interact with him beyond a phone and a sheet of plexiglass didn’t make sense. Especially since Hank had made me promise when I’d left that place, that I’d never set foot back in it, even to visit him.

Hank had been returned to prison, but I wasn’t sure if the guards would heed the warning Ronan and Phoenix’s cop friend had sent their way about Gun being a threat to Hank. My hope was that Jasper was able to watch out for Hank. With T dead, I was worried Hank would become even more of a target.

I dropped my bag next to the couch and opened the door. I froze at the sight of Seth standing on the other side.

“Hi, Levi.”

“Hi,” I managed to get out, though even the single word seemed to be a challenge for my addled brain.

“Can I come in?”

I opened the door wider for him and then looked around the room. I needed to offer him a place to sit, but the place was a mess. Beer bottles were all over the place and our couch was so old that it was ripped and stained everywhere. Humiliation flooded through me.

“Um, do you mind sitting at the kitchen table?” I finally asked.

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Do you want something to drink?” I asked, though I couldn’t offer him anything besides beer and tap water. And since it was just after eleven in the morning, I doubted a beer was on the menu.

“No, thanks.”

I sat down across from him and prayed the wobbly vinyl chair he was sitting in wouldn’t break. “What…what are you doing here?” I asked.

“I wanted to come talk to you about something.”

“Okay.” I knew I probably sounded like a suspicious jerk, but he was the last person I ever expected to see again.