Redemption (The Protectors 8)

“Are you going somewhere?” he asked when he saw my duffle bag.

I nodded. “I’m leaving.”

“Seattle?” he asked.

“Yeah. Too many memories,” I murmured, then realized how insensitive I sounded. “Sorry.”

He waved his hand and shook his head. “No, I hear you.”

He fell silent and an ugly thought suddenly occurred to me. “Did you and your husband change your minds?” I asked. “About pressing charges?” I hated the fear that swirled in my belly at the prospect of losing the freedom I’d just found, but I wouldn’t protest if he’d had a change of heart.

“What? No,” Seth said quickly. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Phoenix told me about everything you did for Henry…I know it must have been hard to lose him like that.”

I felt tears start to fall at the mention of Henry’s name. I wiped at them with my sleeve. “He was innocent, you know? I just wanted him to have the best life possible.”

“Better than the one you had?”

I briefly wondered exactly how much Phoenix had told him, but I realized it didn’t matter, so I just nodded.

“Then why are you leaving?”

“What?” I asked as I looked up at him.

“Why don’t you stay and fight for him?”

“Fight for him?” I asked. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I want him to have the best life he can.”

“And you don’t think you can give him that?” Seth asked.

Anger went through me. I wondered if he was deliberately being cruel just to get back at me. “I never graduated high school. I’m a convicted felon. I bag groceries and stock shelves for a living and that’s the best I’ll ever do when it comes to a career. I’m a single, gay man with no house, no car, no money and absolutely no prospects.”

“That’s interesting, but you didn’t actually answer my question.”

I sighed in frustration. “I could have given him all the love he ever wanted, but sometimes that’s not enough, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Seth returned. “After I lost my parents, I had everything you just listed. Great career, more money than I’ll ever need…I would have traded every bit of it for five more minutes with my parents. Not because of how much money they had or any of that shit,” he said. “Yeah, my parents were rich and successful, but that isn’t what I miss every day. That isn’t what made me into who I am. They loved me. Even if they’d been the poorest people on earth, they would have loved me just the same. That’s what sticks with me. That’s what I want to give my own children.”

“Okay, yes, I thought about it for like five minutes and I thought I could give him the important stuff.”

“But?”

“But I knew no one else would see it that way. They’d look at my history, my family, my future and they’d know I wasn’t good enough to be his father.”

“So that’s all that’s stopping you?” he asked.

I laughed. “Yeah, that’s all,” I said sarcastically.

Seth studied me for a moment and then he reached for his phone. When whoever on the other end answered, he said, “You can come on up.”

I tensed as I wondered if this was all some elaborate joke to mess with me. Maybe the cops were on their way upstairs to arrest me.

As Seth got up to open the door, I forced myself to my feet. I would accept my fate, even if it was no longer the one I’d choose for myself.

But it wasn’t a police officer who walked through the door.

I didn’t recognize the man at all. Of course, I barely spared him a glance because my eyes were on one thing and one thing only.

The familiar red and black car seat with the scuffed handle.

The man turned the car seat to face me as he headed in my direction and my breath caught at the sight of Henry. The baby began thrashing his arms excitedly when he saw me, though he didn’t let go of the stuffed caterpillar in his hand.

“Henry,” I breathed as the man set the car seat on the table. I looked up at him, but couldn’t find my voice to ask the question.

“Yeah, go ahead,” the man said.

I quickly unbuckled Henry and lifted him up. He felt so good in my arms that I started to cry. I didn’t even care that both men could see me. When I’d calmed down enough so that I could breathe normally, I looked at Seth and the other man.

“Levi, this is my friend, Zane Devereaux. He’s a lawyer specializing in family law. He also acts on behalf of children in custody cases.”

“Hi, Levi,” Zane said as he stepped forward and shook my hand.

“Hi,” I croaked. I went to the kitchen to grab a dishtowel to wipe my face because I knew I was a mess.