Without Tully, Kates life lost its shape, and like some overwashed sweater, no amount of positioning or folding could make it right again. Her mother told her repeatedly to snap out of her funk and start dating, have some fun, but how could she date when she had no interest in the guys who had interest in her?
Tully did not suffer from the same malaise. While she still cried about Chad when they were drinking late at night, she had no problem meeting guys and bringing them home. Kate had yet to see the same guy come out of Tullys bedroom twice. According to Tully, that was the plan. She had, or so she said, no intention of falling in love. In retrospect, of course, Tully came to believe that shed loved Chad desperately, so much so that no other man could measure up. But not enough, as Kate repeatedly pointed out, to call him or move to Tennessee.
To be honest, Kate was growing tired of her friends drunken reminiscences about the epic love shed had for Chad.
Kate knew what love was, how it could turn you inside out and dry up your heart. An unreturned love was a bleak and terrible thing. All day long, every day, she moved like a lesser planet in Johnnys orbit, watching him, wanting him, aching for him in lonely silence.
After that long night spent together in the hospital waiting room, Kate had thought there might actually be some hope. Shed felt that a door had opened between them; theyd talked easily, and about important things. But whatever inroads had been made in the bright light of the waiting room had faded with the dawn. Shed never forget the look on his face when he learned that Tully would be fine. It was more than relief.
That was when hed pulled away from her.
Now finally it was time for her to pull away from him. Time to leave her little girl fantasies in the sandbox along with other forgotten toys and move on. He didnt love her. Any dreams to the contrary were simply that.
It couldnt go on anymore. That was the decision shed made at work today, while she stood in the doorway to his office, waiting for him to notice she was there.
As soon as her workday had ended, shed gone to the newsstand in the Public Market and purchased all the local papers. While Tully was out bar-hopping with her guy du jour, or working late, Kate intended to rechart the course of her life.
Sitting at the kitchen table, with her half-eaten dinner still in cartons around her, she opened the Seattle Times and turned to the classified section. There, she saw several interesting choices. Reaching for a pen, she was about to circle one when the door behind her opened.
She turned around and saw Tully in the doorway; her friend wore her dating clothes—an artfully torn sweatshirt that exposed one bare shoulder, jeans tucked into slouchy ankle boots, and a big low-slung belt. Her hair had been puffed up around her face and pulled into a bright banana clip over her left ear. An ornate set of crucifixes hung from around her neck.
Of course she had a guy with her; she was draped all over him.
"Hey, Katie," she said in a slurred Ive-already-had-three-margaritas voice. "Look who I ran into. "
The guy stepped out from behind the door.
Johnny.
"Hey, Mularkey," he said, smiling. "Tully wants you to come dancing with us. "
She closed the newspaper with exaggerated care. "No, thanks. "
"Come on, Katie. Itll be like old times," Tully said. "The Three Musketeers. "
"I dont think so. "
Tully let go of Johnnys hand and half stumbled, half lunged toward her. "Please," she said. "I had a bad day today. I need you. "
"Dont," Kate started, but Tully wasnt listening.
"Well go to Kells. "
"Come on, Mularkey," Johnny said, moving toward her. "Itll be fun. "
The way he smiled made it impossible to say no, even though she knew it was a bad idea to join them.
"Okay," she said. "Ill get dressed. "
She went into her bedroom and put on a sparkly blue dress with shoulder pads and a cinch belt. By the time she came back out of her room, Johnny had Tully pressed up against the wall, with her hands over her head and his hands covering hers, and was kissing her.
"Im ready," Kate said dully.
Tully wiggled out from underneath Johnny and grinned at her. "Excellent. Lets rock n roll. "
Three abreast, their arms linked, they walked out of the apartment and down the empty cobblestone street. At Kells Irish Pub, they found a small empty table close to the dance floor.
The minute Johnny left to get them drinks, Kate looked across the table. "What are you doing with him?"