"Yeah," she answered. "But who will hold on to Lauren?"
IT RAINED ON THE SECOND SATURDAY IN JUNE. ALL THE prayers for sunshine had been ignored.
Lauren couldnt have cared less about the weather. It was the mirror image that depressed her.
She stared at herself. The good news was her hair. Pregnancy had given her coppery hair, always her best feature anyway, a new shine.
The bad news was everything else. Her face had begun in the last week to gain weight, and her always apple-round cheeks were edging toward plate size. And forget about her stomach.
Behind her, a pile of clothes covered her carefully made bed. In the past hour shed tried on every conceivable maternity-wear combination. No matter what she wore, she looked like a soccer mom blow-up doll.
There was a knock at the door. Angies voice said, "Come on, Lauren. Its time to go. "
"Ill be right down. "
Lauren sighed. This was it. She went to the mirror and checked her makeup for the fourth time, fighting the nervous urge to layer more color on her face. Instead, she grabbed her purse, slung it over her shoulder, and left the bedroom.
Downstairs, Angie and Conlan were waiting for her. They looked absurdly gorgeous, both of them. Conlan, dressed in a black suit with a steel blue shirt, looked like the new James Bond, and Angie, in a rose-colored wool dress, was every bit his match.
"Are you sure about this?" Angie asked.
"Im fine," Lauren said. "Lets go. "
The drive to Fircrest Academy seemed to take half its usual time. Before Lauren was quite ready, they were there, parking in the school lot.
In an awkward silence, the three of them walked across campus. All around them people were laughing and talking and snapping photographs.
The auditorium was a hive of activity.
At the door, she paused.
She couldnt go in there, couldnt lumber up those bleachers and sit down with all the parents and grandparents.
"You can do it," Conlan said, taking her arm.
His touch steadied her. She looked up at the crowd, then at the decorations strung across the walls.
Class of 2004.
Boldly into the Future.
In what now felt like her other life, she would have been in charge of those decorations.
The gym was full of kids in scarlet satin gowns, their faces scrubbed and shiny, their eyes bright with promise. Lauren wanted to be down there with her friends, a laughing, teasing girl again. The longing was so sharp she almost stumbled. Tonight would be the grad night party; shed waited years to attend.
Angie took her arm, led her up the bleachers to a seat in the middle. The three of them sat close together, tucked in amid all the other friends and family of the graduating class.
Lauren found David. He stood out from the crowd and melted into it at the same time. He wasnt even looking up here. He was living the moment, loving it.
It pissed Lauren off that he should be down there, a boy with his whole life ahead of him, while she wa
s here, stuck in the audience, a pregnant girl-woman whod lost so much.
As quickly as the anger blossomed, it faded, leaving her with the sad longing shed felt all day.
The noise blurred into one loud, pulsating roar. Lauren balled her hands, hung on to her composure by the thinnest thread.
She couldnt help looking for her mother. Even though she knew Mom wouldnt be here. Hell, she would have missed it if Lauren were graduating.