“I love you, too, Zach. So much I can’t believe it. But I can’t be just yours. Mia’s my best friend. We have to tell her. And your parents are important to me, too. I need them to like me. ”
“I know. But I don’t want to hurt Mia. If she thinks I stole you…”
“I can belong to both of you,” Lexi said solemnly. “I already do. ”
He kissed her one more time and took her by the hand, pulling her to her feet. In a silence that suddenly felt ominous, they gathered up the blanket and stood beneath the stars, facing each other. The burden of their decision felt unbearably heavy, and Lexi almost wanted to take it back, to say, let’s keep it secret a little longer. What if she lost him because of it? She didn’t fool herself. It was possible. If Zach had to choose between Lexi and his family, it would be no contest. He would always choose Mia, who was as much a part of him as the green of his eyes. The bond that connected the twins ran deep. Last year, Zach had been hurt on the football field, and Mia had known instantly; she’d felt her brother’s pain.
“Tomorrow,” he said.
“What if—”
“Don’t say it. She’ll understand. She has to. ”
* * *
The next day, as Lexi sat in one class after another, supposedly listening to her teachers drone on about this or that, all she could think about was telling Mia the truth. She imagined the conversation over and over, polishing each remorseful word like an agate. And still, when the last bell rang, she had the urge to just run away.
What if Mia didn’t forgive her? Lexi could lose everything that mattered.
If only she’d done the right thing the first time and told the truth. She, of all people, should have known better. She’d grown up on a diet of lies; she knew the bitter taste they left in your mouth.
After class, she joined the throng of kids in the hallway. On either side of her, lockers clanged open and shut; students were laughing, talking, shoving one another. Mia met her outside of her last-period class, and together they walked toward the flagpole.
Zach came up alongside Lexi and slung an arm around her as if it meant nothing, but at his touch, her whole body came alive. She was attuned to his smallest movement; the breath he took, the hair that fell across his eyes, the finger that stroked her upper arm.
She pulled away. It was meant to be a casual move, but she overdid it and stumbled into Mia.
“Hey,” Mia said, laughing. “You new to walking?”
Lexi looked at her best friend. “I need to talk to you. ” She didn’t dare look at Zach, but she felt his gaze on her, hot as a touch. “Privately. ”
“Me, too,” Zach said.
Mia shrugged. No hint of worry crossed her face. Why would it? She trusted these two more than anyone else in the world. Mia led the way to a grassy spot by the admin building, not far from the tree where she and Lexi had met on the first day of school. “Okay,” Mia said. “What’s up?”
Lexi couldn’t speak. She felt exposed suddenly, a liar. She would lose her best friend now. And maybe the boy she loved.
Zach reached out, took hold of Lexi’s hand. “We wanted to tell you we’re together. ”
“Uh. Duh. I can see that. ” Mia looked back at the row of buses. “Do you see Ty?”
“We’re together,” Zach said again.
Mia slowly turned, looked at them, frowning now. “Together? As in hooked up? You two?”
Lexi nodded.
The color drained from Mia’s face. “Since when?”
“She almost kissed me after the party at the Eisners’ cabin,” Zach said.
“That was weeks ago,” Mia said. “Lexi would have told me. Right, Lexster? You tell me everything. ”
“Everything but this,” Lexi admitted. “I didn’t think it would ever happen. I met Zach on the first day of high school—before I met you, even—and I thought … no, that isn’t what I want to say. I always liked him, that’s the point, but I never thought he’d like me back. I mean … he’s Zach and I’m … me. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think … I was one of those girls who’d use you to get to him. Like Haley. It isn’t like that. ”
“It isn’t?” Mia said, her mouth trembling. “Why isn’t it?”
“I love her, Me-my,” Zach said. “And we love you. ”