If You Believe

He started to make a flip comeback, then changed his mind. Hed come a long way to tell Jake something. He didnt want to ruin the moment by being his normal, careless self. "I missed you. "

"You did?" Jakes voice was a breath of wonder.

He smiled. "Yeah. It surprised me, too. " He dropped his bag and waved Jake over.

"Come here. "

Jake moved cautiously forward, crunching quietly through the snow. About a foot away, he stopped.

Mad Dog felt a moments disappointment. He pushed it away. He wanted to reach out and squeeze his sons shoulder, wanted it so damn bad, he hurt inside. But he didnt do a thing, didnt move. He wanted to take this thing slow, wanted to make everything right so it would last.

Jake looked painfully young and vulnerable right • now, standing there, his arms at his sides, his face j scrunched against the bright winter sun. Mad Dog knew j how his son felt, remembered waiting for his own fathersj thers return with an aching sense of desperation.

"Im sorry, Jake," he said quietly, feeling a sharp statj of regret. The words were so small, nothing really, yet they were all he had to offer. That, and a lifetime o|

commitment and love to back them up.

Jake didnt say anything.

"I shouldnt have left you. It just happened so damne fast—not that thats an excuse-—but I didnt know what do. I was scared shitless of the responsibility. "

Jake took a hesitant step forward. "What change(j your mind?"

"Youre my son. " Mad Dogs throat squeezed up the simple words. "You cant imagine how it makes feel to say that, Jake. Once I started thinking about it! about you, I couldnt stay away. " He looked away. i "God, Ive missed so much of your life

. . . I dont want* to miss any more. "

Jake made a sobbing, choked sound and launched himself forward. Mad Dog grabbed his son, held him in a fierce, desperate hug.

"I missed you, Mad Dog," Jake said, clinging to his fathers neck.

Mad Dog drew back slowly, stared down into Jakes teary eyes. "I dont suppose youd want to call me dad?"

Jake gave him a watery, quivering smile. "Ive waited for that all my life. "

"I wish Id known, Jake," he said softly, realizing for the first time that it was true.

He wished hed known about his son a long time ago. He liked to believe he would have changed, would have stayed.

"Me, too, Dad. "

Dad. At the quietly spoken word, Mad Dog felt something in his heart swell almost painfully. He swallowed hard, fighting a surge of raw emotion. "Id best go see Mariah," he said in a thick voice. "You know, sweep her off her feet and make this family official. "

Jake winced. "Mariahs . . . changed. "

He grinned. "I can see that by the missing fence. Jesus, Ive missed her. "

Jake chewed on his lower lip. "Ill just stay here and wait___"

Mad Dog laughed. "Probably a good a idea, Jake. Last time I surprised her, she coldcocked me with the butt of a shotgun. "

"I wouldnt rule it out this time. "

Mad Dog grinned at Jakes joke. Tossing his bag toward the bunkhouse, he looked up at the house. An idiotic smile curved his mouth.

God, he couldnt wait to see her, to taste her. Ever since he left, his arms had felt empty and lifeless. He needed Mariah to fill them and make him feel complete.

He tousled Jakes hair. "Seeya in a minute, kid. I got some courtin to do. "