Break Me

Jason opens the fridge and grabs a beer. I look at the time. It’s nine in the morning.

“You’re late for work,” I whisper as I walk by the wall of windows and set Socks next to the scratch pole.

He laughs a low rumble. “I called in sick to work today. I wanted to spend time with you.” I hear the bottle knock on the counter. “Apparently, you already had fucking plans.”

“If you had told me, I would have stayed,” I say honestly.

“Oh, no. I wanted to surprise you. I went to the gym and came home to an empty fucking place and no note. You didn’t answer your fucking phone, so you know what I did, Lo?”

I shake my head.

“I went to the same goddamned places I followed you around to yesterday, trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing. I was all set to come back here yesterday and fuck you right, but where were you?”

I hang my head.

“You were out stalking city council members!”

I look up quickly and scowl at him.

“I thought it was Waters. I thought my Lo”—he hits his chest hard—“my Lo might have a thing for that tool, because she followed his ass to The Lion’s Den twice. But I buried that idea because, when I followed you to Adrian’s, I knew no way in hell would you want that dick when you have my cock. Then Charlotte; I knew damn well you weren’t the type to eat pussy when you like cock. More specifically, you like my cock!”

“I love it. Yes, I do.” I take a step toward him, and he throws his hand up.

“No, Lo. No fucking way is this gonna end up in bed. You’re going to tell me what the hell is going on in your head, or you don’t get my dick, my tongue, my . . .” He snaps his jaw shut, closes his eyes, and shakes his head. After what feels like an eternity, he opens his eyes. All anger is gone, and I see pain. “I gave you everything last night, and you give me nothing.”

“Jason, I can’t,” I whisper. “I don’t want to be anywhere except here, but I can’t tell you. You protect me against your demons. I am protecting you, too, okay?”

His eyes change, turn angry. “I don’t need your fucking protection!” he roars. “I need your honesty. I need you to let me be the fucking man I want to be for you, or you, Lo, need to leave, because I can’t let this get ugly. I won’t let it get ugly, not with you. Not ever!

“You want to hide things from me, make me feel weak, when all I want you to feel is strong. As good as your pussy is, as much as I want it—want you, crave you—you want to hide. You need to leave.”

Panic strikes, and I hold my hand over my face.

I can’t hold back anymore. I can’t walk away from the thing that makes me the happiest.

“She’s going to kill them. She’s going to kill them and make them pay for what they did. Heidi deserves retribution.”

Tears fall and silent sobs build deep, making my body tremble.

In less than it takes to start, I feel his arms around me, lifting me, carrying me, and whispering, “Sh . . .” against my ear.

“I can’t stay here,” I cry loudly. “I won’t let go, Jason. I won’t back down until I finish what I started, and I don’t want you involved.”

“Lo, taking my gun involved me. If you had shot them, it would have been me who got arrested.” He sounds annoyed with me, assuming I didn’t know the gun would tie him to it.

“You were at work. You had an alibi.”

“No, I wasn’t at work, and the guys at the gym don’t care much for the cops. I would have been suspect number one,” he says. “And you live here, have access to my piece, so you would have been as well.”

I look up when he sits, holding me on his lap.

“I don’t care if I go to jail. I would be proud that I avenged the death of my family.”

“That wouldn’t work for me, angel.” He shrugs, and I see pain in his eyes again. “I don’t want to be without you. I want us. I want you; and I want me; and I want a peaceful fucking existence.”

“I want that, too. I do, but how can I find true peace when I know . . .” I stop and wipe tears from my left eye as he rubs his thumb under my right. “It wasn’t just a random home invasion. There is more. I know there is, and I have proof.”

“Why haven’t you gone to the police?”

“Because Ryan didn’t believe me, I let it go, then I knew I couldn’t anymore. I tried going to the police. They said it was a closed case. I was weak and left it alone. No one believed me or my suspicions.”