“Hey, it’s me.”
“This had better be good, Liam. The things I’m willing to forego for a friend has its limits.”
He could hear the laughter in Seth’s voice and smiled faintly. “I wouldn’t call any of this good, but I could use an ear.”
Seth sobered. “You got it. What happened?”
Liam leaned his seat back a bit and stretched out. “How much did you know about Juliet’s death?”
“Just that she committed suicide.”
“You didn’t know why?”
“No,” Seth answered. “I figured you’d know far more about that than me.”
“I would have thought so, too.” Liam sighed. Exhaustion and frustration tugged at him. He swiped at gritty eyes. “Macen finally told me.”
He related the conversation to Seth. Afterward, his friend said nothing for a long moment. “Holy shit.”
“That sums up how I feel. Hammer held all that in for eight fucking years.”
“He never hinted why Juliet had done herself in?”
“Not once. Not during any of our phone calls, not when I stood beside him at Juliet’s grave on the anniversaries of her death and we talked about old times. Not in the two months since I moved out here. Never…until last week.”
Seth whistled. “You must feel run over by a truck.”
“I was in shock at first. Now, I just keep thinking what the fuck? Hammer blindsided me. Then he blamed it all on me. Fuckwit.”
“You feel betrayed.” Seth didn’t ask.
“I do. And how am I supposed to feel about the fact that Juliet might have killed herself because of my baby?” Somewhere between incredulous and wretched, for sure. “Even though I didn’t know and I can’t do anything about it now, guilt is eating me.”
Juliet’s suicide was ancient history, but Liam’s wound felt fresh.
“She chose to end it without talking to either one of you,” Seth pointed out. “Don’t beat yourself up. So are you and Hammer talking now?”
“We haven’t since that night. I can’t decide if I should beat the fuck out of him or apologize for missing the boat completely.”
Liam couldn’t bury his anger toward Hammer…but he could only imagine what the man had assumed all these years. That he didn’t care. That Juliet hadn’t mattered. That the grief of losing his wife meant nothing. Strictly looking at Hammer’s version of events, Liam supposed he came off like an insensitive prick. He cursed himself for not following his instincts and rushing home from Miami.
Had Hammer’s resentment spurred him to take Raine to bed the night Liam had first claimed her? It wouldn’t surprise him if Macen had purposely tried to get her pregnant, too.
Bloody rat bastard.
And no matter how fucking angry he was, Liam couldn’t rail to anyone at Shadows. Who would listen? Hammer? Liam rolled his eyes. Raine? Well, if Hammer had never told the man sharing Juliet’s bed about his wife’s tragic suicide, Liam doubted his old pal would have whispered a word of it to Raine. Not that Liam wanted to spill their dark past to the bruised, half-broken girl. He wanted to earn her trust, and telling her that story wouldn’t help the cause.
“It’s a tough break, man,” Seth commiserated. “But how the fuck were you supposed to know what happened if no one told you?”
True. But that didn’t eradicate his guilt or halt the need to unleash his wrath.
“To add insult to injury…” Liam gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “Hammer made it clear, that he’ll take whatever opportunity presents itself to drag her back to his bed again.”
Seth paused. “Clearly, he’s being a douche, but what’s more important to you? Is it preventing Hammer from taking Raine to bed again or serving the needs of your sub? We already talked about this. If she needs you both—”
“So the last sub you cared about, you wanted your friends fucking her?” Liam countered.
“Don’t try to make this about me. Focus on Raine. What are you really afraid of? Is it just that she’ll spread her legs for Hammer again? Or that she’ll ultimately choose him over you?”
The question made Liam’s heart seize. Hell, Seth saw right through him. “Hammer is too screwed up for her.”
“Maybe confessing to you means he’s finally letting go of the past. I understand you’re pissed off at him, but what does she need?” Seth sounded infinitely patient.
That made Liam want to grit his teeth. “I’ll give her what she needs, damn it!”
“All I’m hearing is your jealousy. You’ve got to put Raine before Hammer and your anger. So far, you’ve done everything right for her. Don’t stop now.”
Why did Seth have to be so damn right?
Liam sighed in defeat. “Asshole.”
“It’s asking a lot of you, I know, especially when you’re not sure where you stand with her.”
“She’s shouted her love for Hammer to the rafters. But me? I don’t know.”
“I get that you’re afraid that Raine will run back to Hammer, maybe for good. But you can’t control the choices either of them make. You can only focus on your own.”