“You’d rather fuck a hundred men than just one?”
I flinch. I’d rather keep running so that nothing can ever tie me down, no one can hold me down, ever again. “I don’t want to…don’t want to fu—I just want to dance.”
Surprise flicks through his eyes, turning them almost silver. He draws back, considering me. He has me trapped, but he’s no longer in my face. I sit very still under his regard. I have sat for hours during prayer, unable to move, unwilling. If I even stretch or look up for a second, it would prove my unworthiness. I would have to start over and face my punishment after. I can wait forever for him to decide.
“No,” he says softly.
My hopes fall. If he doesn’t let me stay, I’ll have to go back into the streets. Fear is a cold band around my chest. You’d rather fuck a hundred men than just one? I might find out tonight.
Bile rises in my throat. “Wait.”
“You’ll come home with me. If you still want to dance once you’ve had time to think about it, once I’ve had time to think about it, then we’ll see.”
“Oh,” I whisper, something hot and scary flowing through my veins.
“And you’ll do exactly as I say, whatever I decide.”
His words make me cold, and I shudder. This is just like Harmony Hills, isn’t it? I left there because I didn’t want to live like cattle anymore, because I didn’t want to be caged and bred and then shot when I was no longer useful. I shouldn’t like being ordered around, not when I’ve risked so much to be free, but it’s a wild relief to hear he has a plan for me.
My mind flashes with glitter and lace. With confidence and color. “How will I know how to please the men out there if I’ve never…done that?”
His eyes glow with a dark promise. “You won’t please them by knowing, little one. You’ll please them by not knowing.”
“I don’t understand.”
A flicker, almost a smile. “Men like to teach you things. That’s what gets them off.”
And I know he isn’t talking about the men out there. He’s talking about himself.
He wants to teach me things.
The knowledge sinks inside me, imprints itself on my bones where I can’t ever forget. “Okay,” I whisper.
“You’ll wait here for me,” he says. Not a question.
I take in the dimly lit basement a little more slowly this time, from the stark lightbulb to the dark stains on the concrete floor. It’s like a jail cell, and without even scripture to justify it.
Before I can answer him, he’s gone. The door closes behind him with a clash of metal.
A beat passes, and then something scrapes on the other side of the door.
I’m locked inside.
Chapter Four
There is no clock inside the basement. Time passes in breaths, one after the other.
A breath to sit and stare at the closed door.
A breath to stand up.
A breath to approach the desk.
Ivan is terrifying, and I’m completely at his mercy. It’s a risk to look through his stuff. It’s a risk not to look through his stuff, now that I have the chance.
I don’t know what I’m dealing with here. Why does he want me? The stories Leader Allen tells ring in my ears. The outside world is full of heathens, of sinners. It’s full of violent men who want to drag me into an alley and rape me. Is that what Ivan wants?
Men like to teach you things. That’s what gets them off.