“You can’t just change your name,” he says, pleading, hands sharking violently as he stares down the barrel. “You can’t just go on with your life like none of it happened. Like it doesn’t matter.”
“It matters, Alex. It matters so much sometimes that you’d rather die than go on living. I understand that. And I’m grateful that I had Delilah to keep me holding on during those times.”
His eyes are bleak. “And what do I have?”
The rope falls to the floor. “You have me.”
I put my palm up, waiting. I won’t fight him. I wouldn’t win. He has to choose this—choose family, choose life. One breathless moment, then two. He sets the gun down on the floor and takes my hand.
The door bursts open.
Luca rushes into the door, looking like a wild bull on a rampage. He’s covered in blood and bruises, his face twisted in a snarl. He’ll kill Alex with his bare hands. He reaches him before I do, throwing a punch that sends Alex back into the lockers.
I throw myself in front of my brother, because sometimes you have to forgive. You have to make your own faith in this crazy world we live in. And I believe in Luca.
Chapter Twenty-One
Waves send music through the open window. The smell of salt floats in on the breeze. Three weeks in paradise and I still marvel at every moment. Hawaii is a land of ocean and lava, of sand and stone. A crack in the earth built for us. After my brother agreed to work for Ivan—a kind of criminal penance, after I got Delilah back from a tearful Candy, we made our own Eden.
“Slow,” he says.
I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. And I don’t have any patience left. I push my hips down, only to wince. He’s too large.
“Slow,” he says, sharper this time. His hands grasp my hips, holding them in place.
So far we’ve done everything but sex, again and again, in every position possible. He wanted to explore my body; he wanted me to explore his. Until I’m begging to feel him. There’s an ache deep inside me that only he can fill.
I’m on top of him, knees spread wide over his hips. “I can’t.”
“We can wait, little bird.”
“No, I want—I need—”
His laugh is unsteady. “I know what you want. But you’ll get it when you’re ready. And that means you taking me inside your body without pain.”
I’m ready for him now. And being with a man this big would always hurt a little. I close my eyes and focus on the sensations, on the stretch. And then I do what he told me to—I go slow, sinking down on him, impaling myself by degrees.
When he’s fully seated, shivers run over my skin.
My eyes fly open, meeting his green regard. “I love you,” I whisper.
He doesn’t seem surprised. “I know.”
“How?”
“I knew in the hotel suite in Chicago. When I touched your pretty little clit.” He demonstrates by rubbing his thumb over my clit. “You wouldn’t have given yourself to me if you didn’t love me.”
I experiment with moving my hips, gasping at the thickness of him. “I offered myself to you at my apartment.”
“That was different. That was payment.”
I bite my lip. “What’s this, then?”
His hands grasp my hips, and he thrusts up. “This is pleasure.”
“It may be pleasure, but we still had a deal.”
His expression grows dark. “I’d take you anywhere you want to go.”