“Wait!” I command, scooting an inch away.
“What?”
“I was going to go first.” Asher sets his pen down and sits beside me. He winks as the nurse removes my tourniquet and wraps it around him.
Asher doesn’t bat an eye when she sticks him with her needle and draws four vials of blood. When she’s done, she presses a cotton ball to his arm and wraps it with some sticky tape.
The nurse opens a new needle and glares at me. She must be able to sense that I am not digging this. Asher wraps his arm around my waist as the woman ties the tourniquet over my arm again. I close my eyes and lean my head on Asher’s shoulder. He takes my other hand in his and squeezes when the needle pricks my skin. Before I know it, the rubber around my arm is coming off and the nurse says she’s done.
“You did it.”
I open my eyes to the sound of Asher's voice. He’s looking down at me with that gleam in his eye again. The one that hints that he might be feeling everything that I am. But there’s a chance that I’m only seeing what I want.
“We should probably go get your bike,” I say, noticing Asher is driving us towards my house and not back to school.
“I’m not worried.”
I look at him curiously. How is he planning on getting home? Or back to school tomorrow? Am I supposed to pick him up? I can if that's what he wants. “But they’ll lock the gate.”
He chuckles and steals a glance at me before turning down Magnolia Street. “I can pick a lock, Ellie.”
"Oh." I laugh nervously at the thought of Asher breaking into the school to reclaim his motorcycle in the middle of the night. I cross my legs, feeling myself getting turned on. Who knew I was into bad boys? “Of course you can.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” He sounds amused, not angry, which is a relief because that could have been taken the wrong way. Asher helped me through the most embarrassing and terrifying experience of my life. The last thing I want is to hurt his feelings.
“That even someone like you, who doesn’t go to school or have friends over there, can still be corrupted.”
Asher parks in my empty driveway. Dad is at the office, as usual, and while Mom works remotely, she is still required to go into the office one week per month. I purposely chose my appointment today because I knew she wouldn’t be home. She'd take one look at me and know something was up.
Asher kills the engine and shifts in his seat. He stares at me, a worry wrinkle between his eyebrows. “I have friends, Ellie. I just don’t talk about them.”
It makes sense that Asher would hang out with people from his neighborhood. He's a handsome, social guy. We may not have been close the past few years, but he's never mentioned anyone from over there. Not even when we were kids. Marla is the first person he's been willing to talk about. "Why not?"
He sighs and runs a hand through his dark hair. “Because they’ve done bad things to get by. We all have.” He pauses and mumbles shit under his breath. “I don’t want you to know about that side of me. I'm not a good person."
I reach over and take Asher’s hand in mine. My breath hitches because I feel it. The spark in my blood I used to get from being with Liam. The tingles I can’t deny are anything other than desire. If there was any doubt left about having feelings for Asher, they’re gone, because this is the side no one sees. The sweet, vulnerable side that is afraid of what I might think.
“Asher, I know things over there can be rough.” I reach up and cup his cheek with my palm. He leans into my hand and closes his eyes. He's scared I'm going to push him away, but I'm not that easy to get rid of. “But nothing you’ve done can change what we have. It’s safe to say you’ve weaseled your way into the best friend position." And my heart. "I promise, even after this fake dating thing is over, I’m not going anywhere.”
Asher's gaze drops to my lips for a fraction of a second and I think, He’s going to kiss me. I want him to kiss me. It’s been so long, I’ve forgotten what he tastes like. But, Asher pulls back and says, “I should probably go.”
“No!?
?? My heartbeat thunders through my body. I’m scared I may have crossed that invisible line we dance on between reality and the fake world of dating. Asher might not view me as more than a friend, and I may have gone too far. “I mean… um… do you want to come in and watch a movie? Or something?”
Asher looks out the window, staring down the street. Liam lives four houses down, and he knows that. Even if he had forgotten, Liam's car is out front and it's hard to miss. “Sure, let’s go inside.”
Asher walks to the couch and grabs the TV remote while I head to the kitchen. I plop a bag of instant popcorn into the microwave and duck behind the fridge. My head drops against the cold metal and I take a deep breath. I have no idea what I’m doing. Asher gave me an escape and I should have used it. Instead, I invited him into my home, with no solid plan, and I’m freaking out. The microwave dings and I take the bag of popcorn out. I open the bag, shaking the steam out with a little toss and wonder, One bowl or two?
I bite my lip, internally chastising myself because if I were with Liam, we would have one bowl. No questions asked. I would curl up under his arm and watch a third of the movie before making out and then switching bases until the credits rolled. With Maggie, it would be two bowls on separate ends of the couch, critiquing the love interest in a sappy chick flick we've probably seen a million times.
Which leads me back to my original question: where do Asher and I fall?
I pick one bowl, rationalizing that he can decide how close we sit and head into the living room. He lounges on one end of the couch, TV remote in hand, scrolling through Netflix.
“Find something yet?” In a split-second decision, I sit in the middle of the cushions. It seemed like the best option considering we have one bowl. Not too obvious. I hope.
“Yeah, this one.” Asher scrolls up to a movie called Holidate. He shows me the trailer. It looks funny, but I can’t help but notice it’s about two people who date but aren’t actually together.