Asher reaches over and sets his hand on mine. There’s no one around. This gesture, it isn’t for show. It’s to comfort me and again I’m left wondering where the line of our reality lies. “Want to tell me why we’re going to Planned Parenthood?”
No. “We are going because you felt the need to save the day.” I sneak a sideways glance and notice Asher smirking. God, that smile. How can it eat the bats wreaking havoc in me while letting loose a bunch of its own fluttering beasts?
“I am going because…” Am I really going to say it out loud? “Because…”
It was hard enough just to make an appointment. Mom thinks I’m going under the pretense of refilling my birth control subscription. She would have a fit if she knew the truth.
Asher squeezes my hand, once again reminding me that he’s got my back. I smile and glance over at him. If the roles were switched, and Liam saw me having a mini freak out in the cafeteria, I’m not so sure he would have swooped in the way Asher did.
“I’m worried Liam might have given me…” Gosh, this is so embarrassing. “Something.”
I watch Asher for a reaction. A stiffness to his jaw. A twitch of the eye. Anything to indicate that he is as disgusted with me as I am. Instead, when the light turns red, he stops and looks me dead in the eye with nothing but concern. “Are you showing symptoms of something?”
Shoot me now. “No, but I didn’t realiz
e how many people Liam was sleeping with while we were together.” I look down at my hands. “I feel stupid.”
Asher reaches over and cups my cheek. I look up into his amethyst eyes, so clear and full of an emotion I know can’t be real. “You’re not stupid, Ellie. You can’t help who you fall for. He’s the idiot for not seeing how amazing you are.”
“Elaine Walker?” a nurse calls after fifteen minutes of waiting in the waiting room.
Asher stands when the woman says my name. She raises an eyebrow behind her thick-rimmed glasses but doesn’t comment. He holds both hands out to me. I take them, letting him pull me onto shaky legs. Despite my hesitations, I am glad Asher is here. I probably would have chickened out by now if I were alone.
“Sir,” the nurse starts, “I’m sorry, but—”
“I want him with me,” I interrupt, because I do. I never thought Asher would be the person I’ve come to rely on most, but here we are. My unexpected hero, once again saving me when I didn't know I needed to be rescued.
The nurse nods then leads us down a hallway. The walls are lined with posters warning wayward teens about drugs, tobacco, and pregnancy. I swallow the lump in my throat and wordlessly step on the scale when directed. The nurse jots the numbers on her clipboard, then directs us to the examination room. She takes my temperature, straps a blood pressure cuff to me, and even though it's probably written on her paper, she asks me why I’m here.
I’m okay with everything until that last question, where I have to explain the horror that is my sex life because the only person I’ve been with is a man-slut. “I...I…”
“We are here for an STD panel,” Asher says. He squeezes my hand and I look up at him stunned.
“We?” the nurse inquires, vocalizing my thoughts. “I only have your…”
“Girlfriend,” he inputs seamlessly. The way he says it makes my stomach flutter. For a moment, I forget where we are, and what the reality of our relationship is, and bask in the warmth of being Asher Anderson’s first and only titled girlfriend. It's a great feeling.
“Let me check with the front desk and see if we can work you in.” The nurse looks irritated as she collects her things, but keeps her tone flat. “Can I have your driver's license and insurance card, please?”
Asher pulls the cards out of his wallet and hands them over. The nurse leaves, closing the door behind her.
“You don’t have to do this,” I say, breaking the silence.
Asher shrugs and walks over to the counter. He lifts the lid on an apothecary jar and grabs a couple of condoms, then shoves them in his pocket. My cheeks flush both from embarrassment and nervousness. I know he hasn’t been with anybody since we started our arrangement; he hasn't had the time. Still, the thought of him wanting to use those with me makes my body shake with excitement and then fear, because what if he’s grabbing those for when this is over?
What if he’s counting down the days until he can grab some chick at a party and take her to bed?
I frown, dread filling me at the thought of Asher with someone else.
“It’s no big deal.” He shrugs again then turns to face me, leaning against the counter. “It’s been about a year since I’ve had one. I’m probably due anyway.”
I stare at him wide-eyed. “You’ve...you’ve done this before?”
He nods. “I’m not some crazy philanderer. I don’t sleep with a bunch of people, but you can catch shit from oral too. Some girls...” He pauses and shakes his head. “I don’t trust ’em as far as I can throw ’em.”
The nurse comes back in with a scowl on her face. “Fill these out.” She hands Asher a clipboard then starts gathering his vials. My pulse races again. I watch the woman label a handful of tubes and set everything on two trays. One for me. The other for Asher.
Before I know it, she has my arm in her clutches and is wrapping a rubber tourniquet around me. She rubs her thumb over my veins then uncaps her needle.