I scooped up the water to splash on my neck and Kipp whispered, “I’m not as damned as I thought.”
The water splashed across my skin and an instant rush of rejuvenation flared through me. I lowered my hands and glanced at him over my shoulder. “Why would you think you were damned?”
“Never going to church, committing sins, things such as that.”
I got to my feet, wiped my damp hands on my jeans and joined him on the tree trunk he sat upon. “I’ve never met a single ghost who seemed perfect, so I think the rules of being accepted into heaven might not be what everyone thinks.”
Kipp laughed. “Apparently, if I fall into that category.”
His remark surprised me. He honestly believed he didn’t feel worthy of dancing with the angels. It made no sense. “What have you done that is so bad you think you deserve hell?”
His expression shone with a thousand times of guilt. “Broken hearts.”
“You’re a heartbreaker?” I grinned with sass in an attempt to lighten his mood. “I don’t believe it.”
Kipp snorted. “I’m not lying that my interest in you is a first.”
The admission made me smile. I liked being his first love. “So, you’ve never had a long-term girlfriend before?”
He lifted an eyebrow. “What’s your definition of long?”
“Anything longer a month?”
“Then no.”
It just seemed so unlikely. “Never—ever?”
“Being a cop, relationships are hard to come by. We work long, strange hours and most women get bored with the cop lifestyle real fast.”
Okay, that all made sense. No women would want a man whom she only saw on days off, but it still didn’t add up. “Yeah, but you said you broke hearts, not they broke yours.”
He sighed and glanced back to the creek. “When it came to the job or them, my job came first—always.”
Ah ha! “That’s what broke their hearts then, your choice, you mean?”
He nodded.
This didn’t seem all that bad to me. It’s not as if he made promises he hadn’t kept. “Well, I don’t think you should feel bad about it. Your job was important to you.”
He looked at me knowingly. “That’s what I wonder…”
I didn’t need him to finish. “Was it the right choice, you mean?”
“Something like that.” He sighed deeply again and looked at the ground. “I just wonder what my life would have been like if I never made those choices. What if I switched from homicide to a different sector of the department and worked day shifts? What if I chose to commit to a woman?”
“Those are a lot of ifs in your statement. Besides, think of how many lives you have saved. That’s gotta be a guaranteed ticket to heaven. And anyway, if this didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have met.”
Kipp glanced at me and his expression declared I just confirmed what he’d been thinking. “I wonder if the reason I met you is to show me what life could have been like and what I missed out on.”
My heart wrenched. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I think this is all just a coincidence.”
“You believe that?”
I
nodded. “I don’t think there is some underlying magical power here that has brought us together. I think we met by chance.” My voice sounded strong, even though every word I’d just spoken was a lie. There were too many twists of fate here. But I hadn’t figured it all out yet. Was I here for him or was he here for me? Until I had the answer, I wouldn’t speak of it.
He didn’t look convinced. “Whatever the reason, I’ve learned a good lesson and I’m glad it happened.”