“Glad you died?” I exclaimed.
Kipp stared at me, dead serious. “If it meant it brought me you, then yes, I’m glad I died.”
I shook my head. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
There were so many answers to give him, it became impossible to choose one to prove my point. Instead of listing them all, I settled on the one that held strongest. “Because I’m not that special, trust me.”
His expression remained unchanged. “I beg to differ.”
I snorted, a little uncomfortable at the turn of the conversation. “You’re being way too kind. You’ve seen only bits and pieces of who I am. All the good stuff.”
“I doubt there’s anything about you I wouldn’t like.”
I laughed. “Experience me through PMS and you’d see what I’m talking about.”
He traced along my jawline with his finger and the cold air refreshed me in the warm night. “I can only hope I have that long to experience you.”
How true were his words? I wished we had more time too; a lifetime for us to be together. But wishing for something and getting it wasn’t real life. “Yeah, it sucks.”
“Sucks.” Kipp chuckled and touched my nose with the tip of his finger to leave an icy spot. “That’s one way to put it.”
I’d seen ghosts filter through their guilt when they realized they were dead. Of course, now things were more personal and feeling his pain wasn’t in any way enjoyable. But I also understood if I continued to hold on to him like this, when he crossed over it’d be met with not only longing, but regret—not a good way for ghosts to go. As much as I didn’t want to do it, the time to settle him had come, no matter that my heart told me to do otherwise.
“Your time is up, Kipp,” I said, a bit more firmly and coldly than I felt inside. “You can’t dwell on what-ifs and what could have been. It’s over. There’s no going back so you can do things differently.”
His eyes flashed with amusement lingering on a tinge of annoyance. “Are you trying to make me feel better? If you are, you’re doing a piss-poor job of it.”
I smiled at his dig. “From what I’ve learned of you, you’re kind and loyal. You’ve saved lives and brought home loved ones to people who’ve waited a long time. All of these things are who you were. Your life was that and always will be, but think of what you left behind. All the lives you’ve changed, touched, including mine.”
The side of his mouth arched up slightly. “How many ghosts have you said that exact line to?”
“I’ve never said…” I could tell by his stern gaze that he didn’t believe me, so I added, “Okay, well, maybe a couple times, but with you it’s more personal. I didn’t know them, so when I said it, I actually didn’t really mean it.”
Kipp grinned. “You’re a special woman, Tess.”
I rolled my eyes, refusing to accept the compliment. “Yep, special—that’s me.”
“No, this is something you need to hear. I listened to you, it’s only right you do the same.” I nodded for him to get on with it. He laughed quietly. “This thing you can do, whatever it is, is not anything someone would receive if unworthy.”
I guffawed at the implication of what he suggested. “It was a fluke from the accident.”
He shook his head, firm and steady. “I highly doubt that.”
“Let me guess, that wasn’t a coincidence either?”
He nodded.
“You know, for a person who thought he’d be damned, you sure believe in the magical nonsense.”
“Not magical necessarily, just something…” He examined me.
I swatted at his face and the cold air caused goose bumps to rise along my skin. “Stop looking at me like that.”
His laugh came loud, but he didn’t move away from my hand. “Like what?”
“Like I’m some guardian angel on a mission.”