Beauty in the Ashes

I shrugged like it was no big deal.

She set a plate in front of me, and another on the spot beside me.

I studied the scrambled eggs and toast, fighting a laugh. “A little late for breakfast, isn’t it?” I pointed to the edges of the windows where enough sunlight streamed inside to tell me it was much later than morning.

She rolled her pretty eyes at me once more. I could tell I was getting on her nerves and needed to watch myself, especially after what I put her through last night.

With a sigh, I muttered, “Sorry.”

“Yes, it is much later than breakfast time,” she replied like she hadn’t heard my mumbled apology. “In fact, it’s nearly two in the afternoon. But considering I didn’t get much, if any, sleep and you spent the night passed out in front of my door, and then in the bathtub, I thought breakfast might be beneficial.” She let out a breath as her lengthy run-on sentence finally ended.

“It was a brilliant idea,” I forced a smile.

She took several deep breaths to calm herself.

Palms on the counter, she leaned forward, leveling me with her gaze. “I didn’t like finding you like that, Caelan. In fact, it scared the shit out of me.” Her lower lip began to tremble. “I thought you were dead,” her voice cracked. “You wouldn’t wake up or make any response. Do you have any idea what that did to me?” She continued on, so I assumed the question was rhetorical. “It tore me up inside. I felt so helpless,” her hands fell to her side as she held back tears. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” She pointed a finger in my face like one would with an unruly child they were scolding. “I don’t think I can handle it if you do,” she sighed.

I frowned. “I’ll try not to.”

She flinched, and this time tears did stream down her pretty face. “But you’re not promising.” It was a statement, not a question.

“No.” I said the word simply and honestly. There was no point in lying to her, and the fact of the matter was I didn’t want to break a promise to her. If there wasn’t one in the first place, then I couldn’t really mess things up…could I?

She grabbed a paper towel and used it to dry her face. Throwing it away, she finally sat down beside me and began shoveling food in her mouth.

When both our plates were clean, I said, “I thought about what you said, and you’re right.”

“About what?” She looked over at me, her head twisted to the side, studying me like I was a fascinating scientific specimen. “I’m right about a lot of things, so I need you to clarify.” Her smile was sweet, and I hoped that meant that our early conversation was forgotten.

“About going back…” I paused, swallowing thickly. “T-to the house. To my house,” I clarified.

“You want to go back?” An elegant brow arched on her forehead. “You’re ready?”

I nodded. “I think so. I mean…” I chuckled humorlessly. “I might freeze the moment I see the place, but I think I’m ready to try, and that’s worth something, right?” I suddenly felt unsure of my decision.

She smiled widely and my heart warmed.

“It’s worth everything,” she replied.

I grabbed our empty plates, stacking them on top of each other to go clean them. As I stood, I began to feel shaky. Sutton reached out, grabbing ahold of my arm. Realization dawned on her. She stood too, taking the plates from my hands. “I’ve got this. You should lay down,” she pointed to her bed.

“Are you sure I won’t be in the way?” I questioned, suddenly feeling like I was an unbearable burden in her life. “I can go back to my place.”

Rinsing the dishes off, she said, “If I wanted you to go, I would’ve said so. I’m not one of those girls that has a double meaning with everything. If I say something, I mean it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I chuckled, crossing the room to lie on her bed. It was soft and smelled like her. The bed covers were some lavender flowery design. It didn’t quite seem like Sutton to me, but at the end of the day, what did I really know about her? Not much. I didn’t even know what her favorite color was. How pathetic was that?

Eyeing me, she warned, “I really need to get to sleep so, no—”

“Sex?” I supplied, cutting her off. Covering my face with the crook of my arm, I said, “You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I’m too exhausted.”

“Oh…of course,” she floundered. Peeking through my arm, I saw her cheeks flush with color. I loved

when I made her embarrassed. It didn’t happen often enough.

Once the dishes were clean, she climbed into the bed beside me. Yawning loudly, she pulled the covers over her body.

“Come here,” I reached for her, pulling her against me.