Beauty in the Ashes

She asked me several questions and looked things over. “So, you want to know the sex?” She moved the wand over my rounded stomach.

“Yes!” Memphis and I exclaimed simultaneously.

She laughed. “Are you really sure?”

“Don’t play with me,” I pouted.

She clicked around the screen and moved the wand until she saw what she needed to. “It looks like you’re having a…” She paused for dramatic effect. “Girl!”

“A girl?” I gasped in awe. “I’m having a daughter?”

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“You are,” she smiled, wiping the goo from my stomach and putting everything away.

“Wow,” I breathed in shock. Somehow, knowing I was having a girl made it even more real. In a few months I’d have a daughter to hold. I looked over at Memphis and saw that he had tears shimmering in his eyes.

“We’re going to have a daughter,” he breathed, leaning over to kiss me. His words affected me more than he knew—it was a turning point for me. We were in this together. He wasn’t running from me. Memphis and I were going to be a family—him, little bean, and me.

“Here you go,” the doctor handed the ultrasound sound photos to me.

I clutched them tightly, not wanting to let go. I stared down at them, tracing the soft curves of little bean’s nose and mouth. She was perfect and I couldn’t wait to hold her.

After a few moments to overcome my emotions I got dressed and we headed home to pack for our picnic.

I felt so light and happy. Things were falling into place for me. All the bad shit I’d gone through had been a really crappy stepping stone in this thing called life. Now I was where I wanted to be, and because of all the bad I could appreciate the good even more.

“Why are you smiling?” Memphis asked me as he made sandwiches.

I sat down at one of the stools and propped my head on my hand. “I didn’t know I was.”

“You were,” he chuckled, carefully watching what he was doing. His copper hair fell in his eyes and he flicked his head so that the strands were out of his way.

“I guess I have a lot to be happy about.”

“I like seeing you like this.” His gray eyes flicked up to meet mine.

“You’re a big part of the reason I’m so happy,” I confessed.

His grin was infectious. The dimples in his cheeks winked at me and I resisted the urge to lean across the counter and kiss them. “Really?” Surprise colored his tone.

I nodded. The words I love you were on the tip of my tongue, but I did not proclaim them. Instead I decided to wait until we were at the park. That seemed like a better, more romantic, spot to confess my feelings.

Memphis packed everything in a cooler and we were on our way once more. It was a nice spring day—the birds chirped and the sun shone like a halo over the world.

He parked the car and took my hand, the cooler clasped in the other. We didn’t walk very far until we found a shady spot under the trees.

“Shit!” Memphis cursed. “I forgot a blanket for us to sit on.”

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “It’s only grass. We’ll be fine.”

He seemed unsure. “We can sit at a table if you’d prefer,” he pointed to one of the many tables scattered through the park.

Rolling my eyes at him, I sat on the ground and patted the spot beside me. “It’s a nice grassy blanket. Same difference.”

He sat down, chuckling under his breath. “You are so different than other girls.”

“I take it that’s a good thing, since you’re sitting here with me and not one of those ‘other girls’ you speak of,” I laughed, grabbing a sandwich from the cooler.