Beauty in the Ashes

“It is,” he smiled, the motion crinkling the corners of his eyes.

I pulled the sandwich from the baggie and took a bite. “Mmm,” I moaned, “this is delicious.”

“It’s a sandwich,” he stated.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and said, “I’m pregnant, therefore always hungry. So I’m sorry that I’m thoroughly enjoying this sandwich.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he grinned and grabbed the sunglasses dangling from his shirt, slipping them on to block the sun.

We chatted as we ate and once the food was gone, we decided to stay a bit longer. We moved to a sunny spot and lay down beside each other. Memphis crossed his arms behind his head and stared up at the clouds. Taking the opening, I scooted my body against his, curling around him, and rested my head on his chest. A hum sounded in his chest. His fingers lazily trailed up and down my arm. I felt content and entirely at peace in his arms.

My eyes grew heavy, but I forced myself to stay awake.

Memphis’ breaths were heavy, like he had a lot on his mind.

He leisurely rolled to his side and propped his head on his hand. He trailed a finger down my nose, his eyes far away.

“What are you thinking about?” I said the words softly, like I was afraid of his answer.

“I love you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth and shock slithered through my body. I hadn’t been expecting that. “I love you,” he repeated. “I don’t expect you to say it back or anything, but I thought you ought to know. I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. I love you,” he brushed a piece of hair off my forehead, his fingertips gliding in a feather-light touch over my face. “I love you.” Grinning, he said, “It feels so good to say that.”

Pushing him onto his back, I hovered above. My hair fell forward, creating an intimate shield around us. I lowered my head, like I was going to kiss him. When my lips were only millimeters from his, I breathed, “I love you too.”

His gasp was my undoing and I couldn’t hold myself back from closing the small distance between us. I kissed him with every ounce of passion I had in me. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t just saying the words. I really meant them.

Memphis had burrowed a space into my heart the moment I met him, and while I fought my feelings for him and immersed myself in Caelan, those desires never went away. In the past months, my love for him had grown every day—even when I’d done everything to push him away, that love was building inside me. I fell in love with him slowly—the way you’re supposed to. I got to know him and he got to know me. There was nothing instant-love about us. We worked hard to get to this point and went through a lot. Sadly, it took me falling for someone else, and subsequently ending up broken hearted, to see that this man right here was the one for me. He wasn’t my second choice. He was the choice.

Memphis broke the kiss and turned his head to the side as he panted. He sat up with me cradled in his lap. He took my face between his hands. “Are you sure?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“You and your potty mouth,” he chuckled.

“Face it,” I pressed my forehead to his, “you love all the things I say.”

With a serious look, he said, “It’s you I love.”

“You really love me?” I burrowed my head in the crook of his neck, absorbing the heat of his body and familiar scent.

“I really do,” he breathed. “I love the way you’re so passionate about things you believe in. I love the way you smile in the morning when you’re still half-asleep. I love the way you sing in the shower when you think I’m not listening. I love the way that you’re this crazy self-confident woman, but sometimes you show this soft shyness and I can see a glimpse of what you were like as a child.” Grasping a strand of my dark hair in his fingers he tugged gently. “I love everything about you.”

I grinned at that. “I’m glad, ‘cause you’re kinda stuck with me.”

“Oh, am I now?” He laughed, his hands grasping my waist where I straddled him—probably not the best position we could have been in, in a public park.

“Yeah,” I smiled—the kind of smile that makes your face hurt, “now that I have you, I’m never letting you get away.”

His laughter made his whole body shake. “I think I should be saying that. You didn’t have to chase me. You had me from the beginning.” His face grew sad. “It was hard watching you fall for someone else.”

My heart clenched painfully at the hurt etched into the handsome lines of his face. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head and took my hand, pressing his lips against my fingers in a tender kiss. “Don’t be. All that hurt I felt makes this moment that much sweeter.”

“Are you sure you’re a bartender and not a poet?” I asked him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I’m sure,” he winked.

“I wish I was better with words,”