Beauty in the Ashes

I whispered and lowered my arms as I laid my head on his shoulder. “I wish I could express to you how strong my feelings for you are.”

“Don’t worry,” he kissed the top of my head and then my forehead, “we have the rest of our lives for you to show me.”

???

We crashed into the apartment, tearing at each other’s clothes. With both of our declarations at the park, neither of us could wait. I needed him to feel my love.

My legs wrapped around his waist and he carried me to the bed.

In the back of my mind, a silly insecurity reared its ugly head—would he be disgusted by me? I was pregnant and my body didn’t look like it used to, and as a guy would he be grossed out?

My fears overcame me and I pushed at his shoulders. “Stop. Stop. Please, stop.”

He pulled away, looking at me with a raised brow. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

I swallowed thickly, fiddling with my hands. “I…I’m pregnant.”

He laughed. “Yes, Sutton, I’m well aware. I’ve been to every appointment and I’ve watched your belly grow.”

I frowned. “No, you don’t get it. I’m pregnant. I don’t look like I used to and this baby,” I wrapped my arms around my stomach, “it’s not even yours. How can you even want to do this with me?” Tears coated my lashes.

Memphis cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. “Get those silly uncertainties out of your head. None of those things matter to me, you know that. Don’t let fear hold you back. I love you and I love this baby,” he placed his hand on my stomach, overtop mine. “If I didn’t want you or this, I wouldn’t be here. I would never lead you on, Sutton. I love you,” he declared, “and when you love someone unconditionally, nothing else matters.” He stared at me for a moment, studying my facial features. “I won’t push you for more. If you’re not ready to progress our relationship to this point, I’ll wait. Do I want you right here and right now? Hell yes. But I won’t push. I’ve waited this long, and I can wait some more.” Brushing his lips against my ear, he whispered, “I can be a very patient man when I know the reward will be well worth it.”

I processed his words and tried to push my insecurities away. A shiver rocked my body. I wanted this. I wanted it now. But I was scared.

I grabbed the collar of his soft shirt in my hands and drew him closer to me. “Slow,” I breathed the words, “be gentle with me. I can’t handle another heartbreak.”

He kissed me deeply and pulled away, running his thumb over my bottom lip. “Your heart is a precious gift and I will never look at it as anything else.”

I scooted back on the bed and his body followed mine. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it somewhere behind him. I ran my hands along the smooth planes of his abs and chest. God, he was perfect.

He took things slow, just like I asked, making sure I was comfortable and truly ready. I was. I wanted all of him and I wanted him to have all of me.

He stared into my eyes as our bodies joined and he saw when I gave him that last piece of my broken heart—it might not have been whole, but every part now belonged to him.

He kissed me tenderly and our breaths were in sync. Everything about us was right.

Afterwards, wrapped in his arms, I couldn’t stop smiling. I was so incredibly happy. There was no longer a black cloud hanging over my head. For the first time in my life, things were good.

But good things never last, and soon it would all come crashing down.

CHAPTER 34

Caelan

I’d spent a lot of time with Leah since the day at the cemetery. We went to dinner and just hung out. It was nice reconnecting with her. I’d even spent some time with a few of the guys I’d been friends with from the football team. It was weird seeing these people again, but I needed this. I’d been avoiding anything that might be too painful for too long. It was time to stop running and hiding. I needed to live.

“What are we watching?” Leah asked, sitting down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and drinks.

“I don’t care,” I shrugged and reached for a handful of popcorn.

“Hmm,” she perused the row of DVD’s, “aha! Found it!” She chimed and slid the disc into the player.

We’d decided to have a relaxing night at her place and watch a movie.

My feelings for her grew every day. I found myself going out of my way to make her smile or laugh. I thrived off of seeing her happy.

The movie started to play and she put the popcorn bowl between us, creating a barrier.