Beauty in the Ashes

“No,” I shook my head, squinting against the sunlight. “I need to do this on my own.”

She nodded in understanding. I dropped her off at the gallery and headed to Sutton’s place.

I kept going over in my mind what I wanted to say, but none of it felt right. To be honest, I was scared to face her. I’d hurt us both when I ended things, but it was what needed to be done.

I parked my car and sat there for a few minutes, trying to muster up the nerve to get out and face this.

Finally I jogged up the steps of the building and stopped outside her door.

I knocked and no one came. I knocked again. Maybe she was at work. I could wait. If I left, I might never come back. I sat down on the ground beside her door, settling in for however long I had to stay.

Twenty minutes later the door to Cyrus’ apartment opened. He startled at seeing me.

“Gregory?” He rubbed his eyes. “Do my eyes deceive me? I wondered what happened to you.”

I didn’t have time for Cyrus’ bullshit.

“When will Sutton be back?” I asked, rising to my feet.

Pity filled Cyrus’ eyes and I didn’t understand why. “She doesn’t live here anymore.”

“Sh-she doesn’t?” I stuttered. Had she moved back to Texas? I couldn’t imagine her doing that, but maybe I didn’t know her as well as I thought.

Cyrus nodded. “She’s been gone for months.” His mouth parted slightly in shock. “You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” I asked, brows furrowing together in puzzlement.

“Never mind,” Cyrus waved a hand dismissively.

He started to pass me but I grabbed his arm in a tight hold and he was forced to stop. He glared at my hand until I dropped it. “Do you know where she’s living now?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “I don’t know if it’s really a good idea for you to see her though.”

“I have to,” I pleaded. “I need to see her. If you’re trying to protect me from being hurt by seeing her with a guy, it’s fine. I’ve moved on and I told her not to wait for me. I don’t expect anything from her. I just…I need to see her,” I pulled at the strands of my hair, yanking to the point that it was almost painful.

“That’s not what I’m protecting you from,” Cyrus huffed. “I can see you’re not going to leave this alone.” He pulled his phone out and began to type. Seconds later my phone beeped. “There. Now go. And don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he muttered before storming off.

I read off the address and headed for my car. It only took me fifteen minutes to get to her new place. It was another apartment, but these were bigger and nicer.

I didn’t give myself any time to think as I got out of the car. I checked my phone again for the apartment number.

When I stood in front of the door, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to prepare myself for what lay behind.

I raised my fist and knocked.

“Just a minute!” A male voice called out.

A moment later the door swung open and I was face to face with Lap Dance Guy or at least that’s what I called him in my head. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. Even though Sutton had always denied that there was anything between them, I’d known better.

Lap Dance Guy held a baby in his arms. As soon as my eyes landed on the baby an overwhelming sense of ownership flooded me. She was mine. I knew it. I felt like some physical force pulled me towards her, but I forced myself to step back.

My body shook all over with shock. This was what Cyrus didn’t want me to see. Sutton had my baby and she never told me. I was hurt, sure, but I understood. I’d never contacted her once I was out of rehab, and I’d done everything I could to make sure I never saw her. I gave her no reason to trust me with our child. As my eyes scanned my daughter, I happened to get a glance at the man’s hand where it was wrapped around the wiggling bundle.

They were married.

I had expected her to move on, but to be married? And with a baby? My baby? Nothing could have prepared me for that.

I swallowed thickly and muttered. “Sorry. I’ve got the wrong address.”