Sweet Dandelion

At his exclamation I jolt awake. My eyes are sore from so much crying. I have trouble opening them, blinking slowly to clear the haze.

“Why are you on the floor?” he asks, bending down. The concern etched on his face makes my stomach roll.

I jump up and run across the hall to the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet before I empty the little food I’ve eaten today into it. I hold onto the bowl and the next thing I know Sage is there, gently pulling my hair away.

“Are you sick?”

My heart is sick.

I can’t answer him because I dry heave again. My stomach cramps, looking for anything else it can empty.

“I can run to the store and get you some medicine.”

I close my eyes. I wish medicine could fix this.

I squeeze my eyes closed, rolling away from the toilet. He lets my hair go as I sit against the wall, drawing my knees up to my chest. I lean my head back, looking for some kind of inner strength to get me through this.

Lachlan is gone. I’m alone. How can I cope without him? He’s my happy place. My home.

“Are you upset about the rumors, D? It’s high school, it’ll pass. Something else will happen and everyone will forget. It’s not true, that’s all that matters.”

I blink my eyes open and stare at my brother.

He rocks back, falling onto his butt. “Tell me it’s not true, Dandelion. You told the principal nothing happened.”

I look away, beginning to cry again.

“What the fuck!” He screams, jumping up suddenly.

I cover my face, trying to hide … what? My shame? I’m not ashamed of loving Lachlan, but I still feel like I’ve done something horrible.

Sage shoves everything off the counter. My toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, perfume that smashes on the floor.

He points at me, speaking through his teeth. “You’re going to tell Mr. Gordon the truth. That man never deserves to work again. What the fuck happened, Dani?”

“It’s not Lachlan’s fault,” I sniffle, slowly rising from my position on the floor.

“Lachlan.” He shakes his head. “You call him by his first name? He’s Mr. Taylor, Dandelion! Mr. Taylor. Say it with me. He’s your fucking guidance counselor, not your … your … your fuck buddy or whatever!” He flings his hand through the air and I wince, his words slicing through me. The veins in his forehead stick out and he looks seconds away from combusting. Suddenly, he pales, his eyes narrowing. “There is no friend in this building named Taylor is there? It’s him? You’ve been seeing him all this time and I was too fucking stupid to see!”

My face crumples and he has his answer.

“Fuck!” he shouts, punching the wall. It leaves behind a gaping hole and when he pulls his hand away it’s covered in drywall debris and blood. “I’m going to kill that man,” he points at me, jaw tight, “I will make him regret ever laying a finger on you.”

“I’m nineteen! I’m an adult! I can do what I want!”

“No, Dandelion, you’re an emotionally stunted child! You were shot, your friends were killed, you watched our mom die right in front of you. He took advantage of you and nothing you say can convince me otherwise.”

“I love him and he loves me,” I try to keep my tone even, but there’s a warble to it, because I have no idea where he is.

Sage works his jaw back and forth. “Yeah? Well, where is he?” He spreads his arms wide. “Because I don’t see him coming to your rescue.” He waits for me to say something and when I don’t, he screams, “Where is he?” When I still don’t answer, he finishes, “He’s nowhere, because you don’t fucking matter to him.”

He stares at me a moment longer and then storms from the bathroom. Seconds later the door slams behind him.

I fall to the ground crying again.

I gave him everything, but he gave me nothing.

I jolt awake from where I sleep on the couch waiting for Sage.