Rae of Sunshine (Light in the Dark 1)

With a laugh, I kicked off my shoes and removed my jacket. I stretched out on his bed, wiggling around until I was comfortable. Propping my head on my hand I eyed him. “Is this better?”

His blue eyes had turned a stormy gray as he looked at me. His tongue flicked out the tiniest bit to moisten his lips.

“Much better.” His voice came out as a low throaty growl.

He removed his own shoes and jacket before fitting himself onto the empty bed space beside me. He lay down on his back and wrapped his arm around me so that I was fitted against his chest.

Cade cleared his throat and put a finger beneath my chin to raise my face to his. “I never knew it could be like this, that something as simple as lying in bed with someone could feel this good.” His fingers skimmed gently up my arm, and even through the fabric of my sweater his touch was searing.

I wanted to open my mouth and tell him that I agreed. I’d loved Brett, in whatever way a seventeen year old girl could possibly love a boy—like as if at eighteen I had so much more life experience, but I guess in a way I did since life’s events had changed me so much. But for whatever reason, I couldn’t make myself say the words. A part of me was terrified to acknowledge the presence of something more between Cade and I. It felt like an insult to Brett’s memory, like he didn’t matter, when he always would. He might’ve been gone, as well as Sarah and Hannah, but that didn’t mean I forgot them and the relationships we had.

Realistically I knew I wasn’t replacing Brett with Cade—this was me moving on, but it didn’t feel that way in my warped mind.

I startled when Cade tapped his fingers against my forehead. “What are you thinking about? I know something has you upset. Talk to me,” he pleaded.

Instead of lying or saying ‘nothing,’ I decided to be honest. “I’m scared I’m replacing Brett with you…but I know that’s wrong. And what I feel for you is so much stronger, and that…” I paused. “That scares me and makes me sad at the same time, because I worry that maybe I didn’t care about Brett enough.” I sat up a bit, so my hair swooped down between us.

Cade’s fingers curled into my hair, his hand resting at the nape of my neck.

“You know that isn’t true. If you didn’t care for him so much you wouldn’t be worrying about this.” He moved his hand to my face, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip. “It’s okay to let go of the past,” he whispered, “letting go doesn’t mean forgetting.”

Deep down, I knew that, but it was hard to accept.

I lowered my head once more, to burrow into the space where his head met his neck.

Protected.

That’s what I felt when I was in Cade’s arms.

I squeaked when he moved suddenly, causing me to sprawl on my back with him hovering above me.

He lowered his head so strands of his hair fell forward to tickle my face. “I’m thinking I should kiss you now.”

I reached up, my fingers grasping his shirt. All thought of our previous conversation was gone.

With one declaration Cade had turned me into a normal girl, at least for a moment, and all I could think about was how his lips would feel against mine again.

“Don’t tease me,” I warned, my mind emptying of all worries. Right now, all that existed was Cade and Rachael. Yes, Rachael, because right now I felt like her again and it felt good to know she wasn’t entirely lost.

He chuckled, his lips turning up into a playful smirk. “Never, sunshine, especially when kissing is involved.”

And then he closed the space between us and kissed me hard and fierce. It was a burning kind of kiss, one that shattered worlds and left you striving for another breath because all of yours had been stolen.

With a brush of his tongue he had me gasping beneath him, ready to beg for more.

My legs wrapped around his waist and I pulled him down so that we were touching in the most dangerous of places.

My fingers moved from his shirt to fist his hair. His stubble scratched my skin but I didn’t mind.

“Rae,” he gasped between our lips.

A moan escaped me at the sound of my name.

Kissing had never been like this before.

I wanted more, so much more, and that was scary.

If I let myself think that far ahead, I saw a future with Cade, a life I had stopped letting myself imagine when I lost Brett