Rae of Sunshine (Light in the Dark 1)

“Exactly,” he nodded, “that’s because those things don’t define who I am as a person, they’re one of the many pieces that make up who I am. A piece is not a whole. Remember that, Rae.”

“But is there really such a thing as normal?” I countered.

He pondered my words. “I guess not, but I think we all have our own idea of what normal is.” He parked his car in front of his dorm building. A grin lit his entire face. “Ready to see my room?” He waggled his brows. “The bed is small, so we’ll have to snuggle.”

I snorted. “Of course we will.”

He grinned and it was so infectious that I couldn’t help smiling back. “I’m a master snuggler.”

“I’m aware,” I laughed, undoing my seatbelt, “remember when I was sick?”

He chuckled. “Oh, I can snuggle way better than that. There’s even a special kind of cuddling where we don’t wear any clothes.”

I laughed at his comment, but then it had me picturing Cade naked and that was no laughing matter. I wondered what he’d say if I told him I was a virgin. Brett and I had been serious, but I’d never been ready to make that leap.

And now my brain was picturing Cade and I rolling around in his bed.

He’d told me he wasn’t going to push me for more, but then his joke had me thinking all kinds of naughty things. My hormones needed to take a hike before I did something stupid.

Cade hopped out of the Jeep and jogged around to get my door.

It was late, nearing midnight, but on a college campus that was still considered early.

The people milling about didn’t bother to hide their stares as the two of us made our way to the building holding hands.

I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to the fact that Cade was considered a celebrity on campus. Hell, I didn’t think Cade was even used to it and he’d been going to school here for four years.

“Ignore them,” Cade whispered, releasing my hand and moving his to the small of my back. “I do.”

I wished I could ignore them, but I couldn’t help wondering what they saw when they looked at us. Probably the school’s football star slumming it with the freak. Yeah, I was probably way off base, but ever since the accident I felt like an outsider. I think a huge part of me was convinced that everyone could know what I’d done just by looking at me—as if I’d stuck a post-it note to my forehead declaring my transgressions.

When we finally entered the building I breathed a sigh of relief.

Rachael had been fine being the center of attention, but Rae didn’t like it.

Luckily the dorm was empty as Cade led me to his room. I was thankful that no one caught me going into his room. I was sure if someone had it would’ve been the talk around campus for the next week.

His room was dark and he fumbled around to turn on a light.

The room was a little smaller than the one I shared with Thea, but large enough not to induce claustrophobia.

He didn’t have anything decorating the walls, which I thought was weird.

His bed was made and the room was clean. I wondered if Cade had some sort of issue with tidiness, since his room at home had also been impeccably neat.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes, letting myself pretend for a moment that I was just a normal girl unscarred by her past.

I knew telling Cade had helped me heal, but only a little bit.

It was going to take far more than a confession to a man I was falling for, for me to get better.

I felt like I’d only put a Band-Aid on the situation, and if I didn’t do more to rectify this I’d be right back to where I was before.

“It’s not much,” Cade shrugged, “I didn’t feel like decorating.”

“I like it,” I told him, and it was the truth. While it was sparse, it was still his. And the stacks of books in the corner, mostly fantasy, more than made up for the lack of decoration. Besides, he was a college senior, and a guy. I figured most guys with decorations hadn’t put them up themselves—it was either done by a girlfriend or mom.

“You look really uncomfortable sitting like that.” He waved a hand where I sat on the end of his bed. My hands were clasped in my lap and my back was ramrod straight.