The Other Side of Tomorrow

I shake my head. “Trust me, I won’t.”

He shakes his shoulders like he’s shaking away his thoughts. “It’s like maybe T.J. is pushing us together. Maybe we’re meant to know each other.”

My heart accelerates, beating so fast I’m surprised it doesn’t fall out and roll around on the sandy beach.

He’s right, it is a bit odd the way we’d never seen each other until that day outside the coffee shop and then here we are again and again.

It has to mean something.

“How did you know T.J.?” I ask.

“He’s my little brother,” he answers without thought. “Was,” he corrects, his face drawing into sadness. “He was my brother.” He swallows past a lump in his throat, his eyes darkening with seriousness. “Have you ever lost someone?”

“Yes,” I answer without thought. Myself.

After my diagnosis, I literally mourned myself. I mourned for the life I had before, for the normal that no longer existed. It was gone, and I had to accept from here on out that Willa was gone, and a new Willa existed.

I think anyone who’s gone through any kind of trauma or been diagnosed with a disease does that. It’s the only healthy way to continue.

If you don’t grieve, you stay stagnant.

“Then you get it,” he continues.

My heart pangs realizing I’m standing in front of my donor’s brother.

The guy I’ve secretly been crushing on, for no good reason other than the way I felt the first time I met him, is my donor’s brother.

It’s like some being out there is mocking me.

Ha! Willa finally starts crushing, so we’re going to make him her kidney donor’s brother! Let’s see how she handles this one!

“Yeah, I get it.”

“Why’d you run away? That day you came to the house,” he clarifies.

Panic seizes my body, and I know I can’t tell him why I was there. “I … uh … just wanted to share my condolences.”

He nods and looks away out toward the water. “I need to grab a bite to eat. You want to join me?”

“I’m here with my friend and sister,” I hedge.

His green eyes meet mine and my breath catches. I don’t know this guy, I only just learned his name, but I can’t deny how I’m drawn to him.

He runs his fingers through the short strands of his hair, which in the summer sun is almost dry already.

“Yeah, well maybe I’ll see you around then.” He gets a small grin, that dimple flashing for a millisecond on his cheek. “You know, since we keep running into each other, I doubt this will be the last time.”

He starts to walk away, where in the distance I know there are food stands.

I war with myself, my normal reserved self telling me to go back to our towels and where the girls will be meeting me.

But the other part of me, the one who just got a kidney and whole new life, says to take a fucking chance and go after the guy.

For the first time in my life, I don’t make the safe choice.

I turn around and jog to catch up to him.

“Wait up,” I call out.