The Other Side of Tomorrow

He looks over his shoulder at the sound of my voice, his lips quirking up in surprise.

“Decide to join me after all?”

“Yeah, yeah I did.” I stop beside him. I’m slightly out of breath, having had to run farther than I anticipated since his long legs had already carried him so far away.

“Good. You hungry?”

“Not really,” I admit.

He makes a sound.

We trudge through the sand to the stands, passing Meredith and my sister.

Meredith stops, her jaw dropping, and my sister grabs her arm, yanking her

. Meredith gives me a look that tells me I’m going to owe her a major explanation with lots of details.

Jasper steps into line at one of the sandwich shacks and orders two wraps and two waters.

He hands them a card that he pulls from a zippered part of his wetsuit. Taking back his card and food he nods for me to follow him to one of the tables.

He chooses a small red table that sits crookedly in the sand with two chairs that do the same.

He hands me a bottle of water and a wrap.

“I didn’t want anything,” I remind him.

He shakes his head, tearing into his. “EatWhatchaCan,” he slurs around the large bite he took.

I shake my head and remove the paper from around the wrap. It looks good. It’s not something I’d normally I get.

I take a bite, chew and swallow. “This is delicious,” I tell him.

“See, you were hungry and didn’t know it.” He chuckles as I take another bite. “How’d you know T.J.?” he asks.

“Oh … um, I’m friends with Spencer, that’s how.”

He nods. “Yeah, him and Spencer were best friends. I haven’t seen him since the funeral. I told him he could talk to me, and he’s practically like family. It’s weird not having them both around.”

“Are you in college?” I ask.

God this whole small talk thing is super weird and awkward.

“Just finished my second year.” A look crosses over his face.

“What is it?” I prompt.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since T.J. passed. It’s nearing two months now, and I just … I don’t see myself going back to college, at least not this year. I need time,” he admits. “That probably makes me sound like a wimp, but I’d only been home a couple of weeks when we got the call he was dead. I’d just seen him that night, laughing and happy, and alive. Hearing he was gone was a wake-up call that I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.”

“I’m the last person who’s going to judge you,” I admit, taking a sip of water. “I was diagnosed with kidney disease at fourteen. I only recently got a transplant.” I pause, taking a breath, part of me wanting to tell him his brother’s kidney is inside me, but I can’t. I can’t, because for whatever reason, I’m drawn to this guy and I know that the truth will only send him running away. “And I’ve decided not to go to college this year, like all my friends are. I’m taking a year off for myself, just to live. I want to do all the things I haven’t gotten to do.”

I haven’t told my parents my decision yet. I’m positive they already know since nobody has brought up college.

“Whoa,” he whispers. “I … I can’t even imagine that.” He runs a hand over his short hair. “But you’re okay now?”

“Yeah, I’m doing great. The last few years haven’t been easy, and it’s kept me from doing a lot of things. Fear, mostly. Dialysis sucks, but it’s not entirely debilitating.”

“So,” he starts, and waits until he finishes chewing to continue, “what are things you want to do?”