Finally, Matt spoke again. “It’s not a bad thing, okay? It’s not and…I think part of me wanted to make you proud.…I’m not sure if I realized it until later but I guess…” Oliver stopped moving, couldn’t make himself take another step as he listened to Matt. He stopped too, looked at Oliver and added, “I guess you always believed in me so much; you put yourself on the line for me so much—getting me into school and becoming my friend—I wanted you to see it was worth it. I wanted you to know you didn’t put all that energy out in vain.”
Oliver’s heart beat wildly against his chest. His hands got sweaty so he pulled them out of his pockets, Matt’s words a constant echo in his brain. I think part of me wanted to make you proud.…I guess you always believed in me so much; you put yourself on the line for me so much; I wanted you to see it was worth it. I wanted you to know you didn’t put all that energy out in vain.
“I would never think that. You have to know that. Christ, Matt. I’ve always loved you just the way you are. You don’t ever have to work to make me proud.”
Matt paused, looking down, but then Oliver hooked his finger beneath Matt’s chin and tilted his head back up so they were looking each other in the eyes. “Are you hearing me?”
“Yes, sir.” Matt winked at him but Oliver didn’t take the bait.
“I’m serious.”
He sighed. “I know you are. And I get it, I do. It’s just the brain and the heart aren’t always in sync.”
That, Oliver definitely understood because his brain had told him to stop loving Matt years ago, but his damn heart wouldn’t accept the truth.
It was then that Oliver realized he was leaning forward. Nothing could hold him back this time as his lips got closer to Matt’s. There was no boiling pot to distract them. The earth would have to open up and swallow him whole to keep Oliver from kissing Matt this time.
“Why do we keep ending up like this?” Matt whispered.
“Don’t know,” Oliver replied, but he did. This is what he’d always wanted. Matt was always what he’d wanted.
When his mouth pressed against Matt’s, his friend immediately parted his lips for him. Their tongues danced, tangled together. He still had his finger beneath Matt’s chin. He slid it over, placing his hand on Matt’s neck as he pulled him closer, kissed him deeper. He tasted like adventure—adventure and passion and history, and Oliver wanted to savor it. Wanted to know that taste better than he knew anything else.
Matt’s hands went to his hips as he kissed Oliver back with everything Oliver gave him. When they finally pulled away, he asked a question that had been on his mind for a couple of days now. “Do you want to go to the symphony on Friday night? I asked my dad and he was able to score us tickets. I know you love going.”
Matt cocked his head, his stare intensely on Oliver. He felt it to the marrow of his bones even though he didn’t know what it meant.
“What about Wild Side with Chance and Miles?”
“I can miss one night,” Oliver told him. They never missed a Friday night, but he would.
“I…yeah…I’d love to go. Will you go with me? To my shoot on Monday? Will you go?”
He’d always wanted to see Matt in action. Always wanted to support him that way but in that moment, it sounded important to Matt. Almost like he needed it. “Of course.” He winked at Matt and backed up, breaking the trance they were in. “Now, come on. Let’s finish this hike unless you’re scared you can’t hack it. I don’t want to have to carry you down again.”
Matt laughed. “Fuck you. I’m like a hiking champion now.”
“When is the last time you hiked anything?” He cocked a brow.
“Not important,” Matt replied, and then they finished their hike.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Matt was nervous. He had no reason to be. This was Oliver he was going out with and Oliver’s parents would be there, for Christ’s sake, but something about this felt different from all the times they’d spent time together throughout their lives. As though it meant more, wasn’t just two friends hanging out.
Maybe it was the fact that they’d fucked. It had always been important to him to keep those lines neatly drawn where Oliver was concerned and first the sex, then that fucking kiss he’d given Matt at Runyon had made his toes curl and his dick hard all in one.
This was a mistake.
It could turn out really fucking bad.
But there was no way he couldn’t go.
It might not seem like it, but Oliver skipping a Friday at Wild Side was a big deal. He didn’t let people down. It wasn’t how he worked and he would see skipping the night as letting Miles and Chance down.