And he was doing it for Matt.
His chest seized up, constricting around his heart. How did he get so lucky as to get this man in his life? To have his friendship for all these years?
And he hadn’t always been a good friend to Oliver in return. That was the thought that hadn’t left his head for days.
“Knock, knock.” Oliver’s voice came softly from the doorway. “You okay? You’re spacing out over there.”
Matt stood in front of the window as Oliver came through the open door. Matt’s heart sped up while a low twist also tied his stomach into knots. There was something he needed to say and he’d waited too long to do it.
“I’m sorry,” he said, not looking at Oliver.
“For what? You’re not canceling on me, are you?” he asked. Matt could tell he tried to sound playful but there was a real hint of worry lacing his voice. It made him feel even shittier that he’d given Oliver reasons to expect that over the years.
“No, I’m not canceling. I just…” He sighed. “I’ve never apologized for leaving the way I did, have I? For leaving you hanging and not telling you beforehand that I planned to go to New York.”
Without looking at Oliver, Matt knew he had a puzzled look on his face. He was the kind of man who wouldn’t expect or need an apology, but he deserved one.
“It was over ten years ago, Matty. It doesn’t matter.”
At that, Matt turned his way. Oliver looked gorgeous, his dark blond hair recently trimmed and neat. He wore a gray suit. It hugged him in all the right places, and suddenly he felt the urge to tug on the bow tie at Oliver’s neck and pull him closer.
He shook those thoughts from his head. “It does matter how long it’s been. You were my best friend. You are my best friend, and I kept something from you that hurt you. I lied to you and I did it on purpose. We both know that’s not the only thing I have to apologize to you for—springing the blond on you my first visit. Fuck, I can’t even remember the kid’s name.” But he’d brought the guy on purpose because he’d been alone, so fucking alone in New York without his friends. Without Oliver. Because he’d hit brick wall after brick wall, and he’d been scared to death if he didn’t come with a line of defense, he would have stayed in Los Angeles. “The missing trips, not calling, only calling when it suited me. There’s so much I owe you an apology for. I’ve been a horrible friend to you, Ollie and I’m sorry. When I leave, when I go back to New York, I promise you, things will be different.”
And they would be. Matt would be different. He would be better.
“Hey, it’s okay. You and me? We’re good, Matty. Always.” Oliver wrapped an arm around Matt and pulled him close. He kissed Matt’s forehead, and Matt tucked his face into Oliver’s neck. He wasn’t sure what had hit him all of a sudden, why he had to make sure Oliver knew he was sorry and how much their friendship meant to him. Probably because he knew Oliver deserved better. He deserved better than how most people treated him—even Miles and Chance, but especially Matt himself.
When they pulled away, Oliver pushed Matt’s hair off his forehead. They stood less than a foot apart, facing each other. “You look good. Not that I’m surprised.”
Matt wore a suit as well, but his was a dark blue.
“Thanks. You don’t clean up so badly, yourself. Your bow tie is crooked. Let me fix it for you.”
So he did. His hands shook, he noticed, as he raised them toward his friend. Oliver closed his eyes while Matt straightened his bow tie. Matt dropped his hands when he finished. Oliver’s lids slid open and he nodded toward the door. “Let’s get out of here, Matty.”
Matt smiled, an uncertainty he wasn’t used to working its way through his system.
“It’ll be good to see your parents,” he told Oliver as they were in the car on their way to the restaurant. They were just like Oliver in so many ways. They could have easily looked down on Matt but they never had. They’d treated him like a son, and he would forever be grateful for that.
“They’re excited to see you as well. Mom was surprised she hadn’t thought of getting the tickets for us to join them tonight.”
Matt wasn’t surprised that Oliver had thought of it. Not that he wouldn’t expect Ralph or Vivian Hayes to consider it because they would as well, but Oliver? This was all him—giving someone who was important to him something that would make them happy.
He reached over and squeezed Oliver’s knee. “I haven’t been in a long time. I’m glad it’s you that I’m going with.”