He adds a holo reader to the box. I open it and see strange symbols, numbers. “Math?” I tilt my head.
“And chemistry. She understands it, apparently—and has already done things on her own, without training, that experienced chemists struggle to do. Dr. Daneth said she could have been a scholar, a real doctor, if she wasn’t born a human. I mean, a slave. Maybe she still can be. She’s smart. Take good care of her.”
“I do. We do. Always.”
Riya
So I’ll see you on the EM holo call this week?” Lily’s smile brightens her entire face. I’m visiting her in the capital because Jax had to come and pick up some equipment. He figur
ed I’d like to come along and see my human friends.
I shake my head. “I’m not… expecting. So I wasn’t planning on it. I have a lot of work to do, anyway.”
“Are your mates working you too hard?” Lily’s delicate features turn to a frown. “I wouldn’t have thought it of them, because they have a reputation for being fair, but if it’s too much you can always—”
“It’s me. I have set difficult goals for myself.” I touch her arm. “My mates have been nothing but kind and supportive.” A flush stains my cheeks as I think about just how supportive in the sleeping chamber.
“Oh, that’s a relief.” She smiles, but looks at me with tilted head when I don’t join in. “Is there something wrong?”
“No. I just don’t want to join the holo meeting if I have nothing to add.”
“But you will be an Expectant Mother soon, Riya! Even I may be able to conceive. When I was sterilized to become a sex slave, they made the procedure reversible. So Dr. Daneth performed a surgery and now… we’re trying.”
She blushes.
“I didn’t know you wanted to have babies. But I suppose it’s required of all of us now?”
Lily frowns. “I don’t know if it’s required. But I guess I do feel like I should do my part. Rok would make a great father, and every baby born will be a step to prevent their species from becoming extinct.
“But the meeting isn’t just about pregnancy, of course, everyone will share ideas, knowledge, tips. You know Zorra is having terrible morning sickness and your ginger preparation helped. She, and you, can talk about that.”
“Oh.” I take a careful breath. “Then, yes, of course I could attend and share information. I wasn’t aware it was required.”
“Well, nothing is mandated,” she explains. “And right now, it’s just an idea Bayla had to get pregnant humans together, for support and friendship. So many of them are a little lonely, so it’s probably as much for company as anything else.”
I am eager for time with friends, but this hardly seems the ideal solution. “I’d love that,” I tell her, grinning in a way that shows my teeth and probably looks fake, but she’s turned to another human who is hovering near us.
“Katrin! You look amazing. Your face positively glows.”
Katin puts a hand on the small swell on her belly and beams. “I’m so happy.” She literally does shine, and I wonder if something about being pregnant with a Zandian baby does something special to a human’s anatomy, because I’ve never before seen a pregnant woman this beatific.
I offer my congratulations and hug her, and then I leave fast, eager to get back to my lab and finish my current work there.
When I get back, I head straight back to my lab space, instead of walking into the dome to greet my other mates. It’s awful, but lately I simply can’t bear looking them in the eyes, and I come up with more elaborate excuses every day to avoid their company. I have even been excusing myself from mating on occasion, saying that I have cramps or a headache. That, in turn, often results in a real headache when they fuss about me. Jax offers to take me to Dr. Daneth. Tarren complains that I work too hard. Then there is Ronan, trying to make me smile with a silly story. I’m sure they’re all confused, and maybe even hurt, but sometimes I can’t—I just can’t. They trust me and care for me so much, and I can’t keep up my deception much longer, and it’s killing me. I’m terrified of what they’ll say and do when they find out I’ve been lying, and that I accepted them as mates knowing I couldn’t bear young. How can they forgive me for it?
Jax has already dropped a delivery pod in my lab, and it’s waiting beside the door.
I wonder if it’s seeds, or more books from Dr. Daneth. But when I peer through the glass, something disturbingly familiar catches my eye. I see a small, silver disc with Ocretion lettering. An info disc. This drives fear into my heart, because it’s labeled:
“SLAVE 4356778A-CS-3. RIYA.”
Oh no. Fuck, no.
I put a hand to my mouth, and the nausea that’s been hitting me more often pulses hard. I run outside and make it just in time to retch the contents of my stomach into the fragrant basil I’ve grown near our dome entrance. Even after my stomach is long empty, the convulsions continue until I’m dizzy and my throat is raw, and my eyes tear up. Finally I whimper and wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, and clean up with water. Moving mechanically, I dab my eyes and brush my sweaty hair out of the way.
A strange sense of calm envelops me. Of course it was bound to happen. King Zander said he’d send them back when he approved our homestead. Now that they’re here, I simply must accept life as I know it is over.
As I stare at the piece of holographic aluminum, I can only see the faces of my mates, strong and beautiful. Ronan, so compact, his laugh lighting up his eyes, the way he makes it his whole goal to make me smile. Jax, insightful, the one who makes me think well of myself—not to mention his handsome face. And Tarren, my gruff warrior, the one who’d move the planets to ensure my comfort, the one who gets me in a deep way, making me feel like I’m not alone in this universe.