Then I think about the future, about how being with me ensures that all of their traits and wonders will die out. This is so much more than my own life and security. My selfishness has cost Zandia, but it’s not too late to fix it. I need to let them be with another mate, and I need to do it in a way that ensures they’ll never want me back.
I love them so deeply that I need to do this now, and fast, before I lose courage. I need to leave them in a way that is unforgivable, because my mates surely have forgiveness in them too.
After vomiting one more time, emptying myself of all the water I just drank, I pack a small satchel and grab my vest. Then I sit at the table and record the message. When I’m done, I carefully place the silver disc next to the comm device, and call Lily. My voice is even as I speak. “I need some help.”
Tarren
I’m so eager to see Riya after my long planet rotation that I brush past Ronan and Jax, not caring if I’m rude, ready to show her what I’ve brought. My heart leaps with unaccustomed anxiety as I shift the package in my arms, hoping it will please her. Maybe even help her pop out of her current slump, which we all feel.
But Jax and Ronan don’t accept my dominance.
Ronan elbows me. “Wait your turn, cousin.” He’s smiling, but the elbow hits my ribs, hard.
“Oof,” I grunt, scowling. If I weren’t holding this precious delivery of old Earth texts loaded onto holo comms, I’d drop him right now.
Taking advantage of our mini skirmish, Jax passes us both us and enters the dome.
“Riya!” he calls, his voice jolly. Then—“Riya?”
Hearing the question in his voice, I spin away from Ronan and trot into the dome, dropping my package by the door. “What’s going on?”
He frowns down at our group comm tablet, his back straight.
“What is that?”
“It’s a message. From Riya.” His voice is strange, flat.
“What did she say?” Ronan’s eager tone falters. “Where is she?”
“She left.” Jax is expressionless. He puts the comm unit down and walks to the window. “She’s gone.”
“To the forest again?”
Icy spires of anxiety curl through my chest as I grab the comm unit and play the message.
Jax, Ronan, Tarren, I need to leave. I’m sorry I’m not brave enough to say this to your faces, but it’s time I was honest. This mating group won’t work, and you will need to choose another mate.
I deceived you.
I can’t have children.
I know how Zandians feel about lying, so I understand you will rightfully hate me. I don’t know what King Zander will do with me, since I’m unable to breed, but I will throw myself at his mercy. Maybe he will even allow me to stay on Zandia. Either way, I hope—
Her voice breaks off, choked.
I hope you find a better female, one who will be able to commit to you fully and give you what you need and deserve.
“What the veck?” roars Ronan.
“She lied.” My voice is dull even though my hands shake. All I can see is red.
“What does this even mean? She’s infertile?” Ronan grabs his head. “Vecking tell me!”
Jax touches the disc. “Her records. Let’s find out.” He slides the thin silver disc into the comm port and documents flash up on the screen.
Slave determined to be incapable of fertilization. Slave notified of her physical condition. Slave understands that she can never become pregnant.
Veck.” Ronan’s tone is low with disbelief. “It can’t be right. It’s the wrong report.”