Only One Regret (Only One 5)

I can hear him moving in the room, then I can see his feet in front of me. He squats down, taking my hand in his. "Erika." He calls my name, and my eyes come up to his. "What are you saying?" he asks softly, his hand coming up to hold my face.

"It’s everything that you’ve ever wanted," I reply, knowing he deserves for me to be honest with him. "You can have everything that you’ve ever dreamed of having." I can feel the tears coming as I look at him. My whole chest is aching for him.

"And what do you think I’ve ever wanted?" he asks softly, his thumb rubbing my cheek.

"Family," I say, the tear escaping the corner of my eye, and I turn quickly to stop him from seeing. "The family you’ve always wanted. You’ve said your whole life that is what you wanted." I smile at him. "And I’m not going to stand in the way of that." I swallow, my heart is beating so hard in my chest it’s all I can hear. He bends his head and kisses my hand. "The first time I met with you and asked you what you wanted, you answered a family." I look at him. "You said whatever I do in my career will be amazing, but I want a family to come home to." I remind him of the words he told me when he turned twenty. I look at him, my heart breaking that I won’t be the one who gives him this. "So, I’m telling you that it’s okay if you changed your mind." I smile at him. "We can still be friends," I start to say and stop when my voice trembles.

"I’m not interested in just being your friend," he insists and then pulls me in his arms. Arms that held me all night long. Arms that make me feel safer than I have ever felt. Arms that I would recognize blindfolded. "Is it my turn yet?" he asks softly, letting me go. "I’m just waiting for it to be my time to speak." His smell is all over me, making my chest ache. "I’m waiting for you to get it all out of your system."

"I know that it’s not going to be an easy decision either way," I state.

"Erika." He calls my name, and I stop. "Before you leave and walk out of this room, there are a couple of things you need to know." I close my eyes and exhale a breath out. My head is telling me to walk out of the room, yet my heart is telling me to turn around. I hold the bag in both hands so he doesn’t see them shaking.

"I didn’t want to do this, this way," he explains, and my stomach flips even more. "When we were on vacation, I spoke with my father." I can’t say anything because the lump in my throat won’t even allow me to even breathe at this point. "I told him I was in love with you," he says the words, and I gasp out in shock. "Actually, to be honest, I told him I was firing you and then he called me a dumbass, so I had to admit I was in love with you." My hands come up to hold his face. "Which made him call me a bigger dumbass because you see, he’s made me see that." He smirks. "I’ve been in love with you since I can remember. I’ve loved you for what feels like my whole life." He comes to me as the tears pour down my face.

"Do you really mean that?" I ask before blinking away what feels like the biggest tears I’ve ever had. My whole chest feels so full I put my hand on it.

"That night when I took you on a date, I wanted to tell you then," he admits to me, holding my face in his hands. "Then yesterday I got home, and I wanted to tell you then also." His thumbs rub my tears away. "But I knew you would think it was only because of Julianne."

He takes a breath. "It’s always been you," he confirms. "Everything that has happened." He smirks. "Meeting Julianne, getting traded, getting divorced. It was all going to end up at the same place." I close my eyes as I listen to his words. "I love you with every single being of my body, Erika." He kisses my lips. "Like head over heels in love with you." He shrugs. "I guess I always have been."

I don’t even stop the tears that come as he kisses my lips softly. "I have to say something."

"No, because I’m not done."

"Well, can you hurry up, please?" I ask, I can’t stop the smile from filling my face.

"You asked me what I wanted most out of all this," he says. "And you’re right, I did say family." I nod my head. "What if that family is with you?” I sob out. He takes me in his arms, and I smell him, and he smells of my home. He smells of me. He smells of everything that makes me happy.