Dirty Sweet Cowboy

“I guess so. How is four p.m.? Does that work for you, Hawk?” Anna asks with a smirk. I scrub her head as I walk by her into the house, and when I step into the hallway, I’m overwhelmed with memories again. Nothing has changed: the decorations, the paintings, even the flowers my mother arranges in the vases are exactly the same. Dad pats me firmly on the back and points up the stairs .

“Your room is just how you left it. But Gracie and Parrish have their own room in the house now, just for sleepovers, and it’s right next door. So, if we keep Gracie, she may be paying you a visit or two. She likes to crawl out of her bed and wander .”

I try to hide a flinch at the thought of being in the same house with Parrish. “I thought they lived in the carriage house? Why would they need to stay here ?”

“What’s it to you, chump?” Anna asks, poking her head out from behind dad. I scrunch up my face and shake my head .

“I was just asking. No need to make a federal case out of it. Where is… Parrish… anyway?” I can see Anna roll her eyes, but luckily dad can’t see her and mom is busying herself with my suitcase .

“She’s in the office, and Gracie is at her little day school. I can’t believe you’re finally going to meet your niece after two years !”

Anna scoffs. “Yeah, it is super hard to get on a plane and fly home when you have suitcases full of money and travel all of the time for work anyway .”

Dad turns around and pops Anna on the back of the head. “Young lady, I’m going to need you to take several huge steps back and readjust your attitude, just so we can all have a pleasant month. If it’s going to be a problem, you can go stay with Parrish in the carriage house and stick to the stables for the rest of the time .”

Anna throws her hands up in the air. “Fine! It’s out of my system. Mostly. But I make no promises.” And then she stomps back out of the house, leaving me along with my parents. They are both grinning at me, staring, like they are waiting for me to perform. I rock back and forth on my heels .

“So… where are the rest of the guys ?”

“Your brothers are at a competition in Austin this week. They wanted to be here to greet you but we needed some McCormick faces there to represent the ranch. And I wanted to make sure I was able to help you get started on the plans and everything. But that’s for later! Go get settled in, and maybe after dinner, we can take a stroll around the property. You can reacquaint yourself with the area, since it’s been so long since you were home last,” dad says as he walks me over to the staircase that leads up to the “kid’s” side of the house. I walk slowly up the stairs, away from my grinning parents, and toward the room that I spent my entire childhood in. When I open the door, I swear, my heart stops beating, because my dad was right .

Absolutely nothing has changed .

All of my old posters are still on the wall, my riding trophies are on the shelves, as well as the pictures from sports, and parties, and family events. I sit down on the bed and bounce a few times, amazed that I slept on this single, rock-solid thing for so long. For a second, I think about going and finding a hotel, but then I realize that would devastate my parents, so I set my briefcase down on my old desk and sigh. I walk over to the window and push the curtain aside, looking out over the ranch. I can see the outdoor riding hall next to the stables and then, like a vision, there she is .

Parrish.

She’s riding Moonfire out of the stalls, her long blonde braid bouncing behind her as the gorgeous horse trots on to the course. Even from a distance, I can see how beautiful Parrish still is. She looks exactly like I remember her, and every emotion in the pit of my stomach starts to bubble and ebb like a boiling cauldron. I press my hand to the window, and watch, enraptured, as they start running into a full gallop, and Moonfire leaps over the fence. Just as suddenly as they appeared, they are gone, riding off into the grassy hills at the back of the ranch .

“What are you looking at, you creep ?”

I jump a foot in the air, and turn around. Anna is standing in the doorway, holding my luggage and scowling at me .

“Nothing! I’m not… nothing .”

She chucks the suitcase on to the floor and sits down on the bed, smoothing out the quilt underneath her. “You’re not going to be able to avoid her for a month, you know .”

I cross my arms over my chest and turn back to the window. “I don’t know what you’re talking about .”

“Don’t lie to me, Hawk Samuel McCormick. I spent my entire childhood following you around like a puppy dog and I know every one of your moods and your attitudes. And I know when you’re lying .”

“I’m not going to avoid her. Just because I’m not rushing out to give her a big how d’ya do and a hug doesn’t mean I’m planning to hide in the bushes whenever I see her. And what does it matter to you, anyway ?”

I can hear her incensed scoff from across the room. “Hawk, I know you had your big dreams that didn’t include us, and you get a lot more pleasure out of living the high life in Los Angeles with your models and actresses or whatever than you would from being bored here on the ranch. But don’t for one second thing that just because you ran off and left us, we stopped caring about you. And that applies to everyone here, including the girl you left behind .”

She gets up and walks out, closing the door behind her, and I am left in the exact same place I was the last time I saw Parrish .

The last time I said goodbye .

Parrish

I ride across the open fields, and the only thing anchoring me to the earth beneath is the feel of Moonfire’s strong body between my legs. Whenever I’m angry or lost or confused or really missing Matt, Moonfire and I ride. We ride as far as we can without ending up in North Dakota. And then we turn around and ride back. It’s the only time I’m at peace, when I’m not with Gracie. The wind blows through my air, and I can hear the rhythmic thump thump thump of Moonfire’s feet on the ground, and for a second, everything is right with the world .

But this afternoon … we are riding away from Hawk .

As soon as he arrived on the ranch, there was a change in the air. Something began to fill the space between where I was sitting in my office and the ranch house, and I suddenly couldn’t focus. I looked out the window over my desk, and I saw him get out of a huge red truck. Candy ran down from the porch and threw her arms around him, and every fiber of my being began to shake in a combination of fear and panic that I couldn’t get a handle on. I watched him talk to his parents, and then stand on the steps of the house, looking around as if he was seeing everything for the first time. And in a weird wa

y, I knew exactly how he felt .