Lindsay
“I think you should probably take her by yourself, Ben. She needs some one-on-one time with you.”
“No, please come, Lindsay,” said Elle.
I thought she hadn’t been listening, since she’d taken off to her room to grab a backpack when Ben suggested the trip to the zoo. She was back too quickly, and I felt awkward. “I’d love to come, but I think you should spend some time just with your dad too.”
“I will,” said Elle with such exasperation that I almost laughed. “I just want you to be there too. Please?”
“Lindsay might be pretty busy today,” said Ben in a completely neutral tone of voice that did nothing to reveal whether he wanted me to decline or accept.
“But you have to. The lions have a new baby, and we have to see it together. Besides, we have to see the snake house together. Maybe I can make the glass disappear,” she said with an uncharacteristic giggle.
That clinched it for me, especially since I really wanted to go anyway—and it wasn’t because of the lions or the snake house. I wanted to be with Elle and Ben, though any time spent with him was risky. But it was worth putting myself out there if it meant Elle was able to shine like this. Enthusiasm from Elle was a huge change of pace, and I was afraid that to refuse her again would dim the light in her eyes. “In that case, I’d be happy to come, but if you make the glass disappear, you have to promise you won’t let the snake bite me.”
“I’m probably not a parselmouth,” said Elle with complete seriousness.
I frowned at her. “How did you know that word?” We aren’t that far into the series. We’re still at the midpoint of chapter two.
She shrugged. “I’ve seen the movies, Lindsay.”
“Of course you have. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I smiled at her, though I was concerned if she had seen all of the movies. They could be scary in parts and something she should have watched with an adult. I had a feeling she’d watched alone though.
After that, it was a mad scramble to finish breakfast and gear up for a day at the zoo with sweaters and scarves since it was getting chilly these days. Finally we were ready to head out. Ben surprised me by walking toward the subway station when we exited the Imperial. “You aren’t taking the car?”
“No way,” said Elle, authoritatively. “Weekends are for subways.”
As Ben slowed his pace so I could fall in step beside him and Elle skipped ahead a few feet, he lowered his voice. “Elle loves taking the subway, but weekends are the only time I let her ride. Never after dark, of course, and never alone.”
I was reassured as I followed them down the stairs and through the turnstile before walking down another level to the platform. Elle and Ben seemed to know right where they were going, so I was happy to let them lead.
Everyone was in a good mood, including me. I was doing my best to block out what I had done last night, because whenever I thought about it, I couldn’t look at him without blushing. It wasn’t the first time I had played with myself to a fantasy of Ben Hudson, but it was certainly the first time I had done so under his roof and down the hall from him. It was also the first time in a few years that he’d made more than a passing appearance in my fantasies. It wasn’t like I’d been pining for him for the past three years. I’d had crushes and boyfriends, and Liam Hemsworth was more likely to be the focal point of my fantasies recently—or at least he had been until I came to live with the Hudsons.
I forced myself to stop thinking about it, because it was making me squirm in my seat. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, and I didn’t want to keep rubbing my leg against Ben’s accidentally—no, I wanted to do it on purpose. I barely managed to behave myself on the way to the zoo.
Once we arrived, there was the usual press to get through the crowds, along with standing in line. Elle was still bouncing with delight, and she seemed so much like just a regular seven-year-old right then that it lightened my own step. I could feel at least the possibility of a breakthrough coming for her.
We traipsed through the zoo, hitting most of the exhibits over the next few hours. Elle was particularly entranced by the new baby lion, which we were lucky enough to see. She stared at it for such a long time that I grew concerned and placed a hand on her shoulder. “What do you think of the baby?”
“She’s beautiful. I’d like to have a baby.”
I blinked and then laughed. “I’m sure you’ll meet the right man someday, but you’re far too young to be thinking about it right now.”
Elle rolled her eyes at me. “I meant a baby sister.”
This time, my laugh felt more forced. “Maybe that’s a possibility someday.”
She looked sad when she shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. My mom told me she made sure she’d never have to have babies again after I was born.”
I flinched at the words, imagining why she might have said that to her daughter. It may have been thoughtlessly cruel, or perhaps it was a purposeful effort to hurt Elle by implying she’d never make the same mistake again. “Still, your father might get married again someday.” The thought brought a hitch to my throat, and I glanced in his direction. I was happy he followed a few steps behind the family who had run across our path, so he hadn’t heard.
She looked entirely too grown-up and serious when she shook her head again. “No, I’ve heard him say that he’ll never get married again. He says wives and women are too much trouble.”
I winced again, but I wasn’t certain why. Was it because Elle had overheard a conversation not meant for her ears, or because of my own feelings? I just squeezed her shoulder and didn’t say anything else. What could I say? Anything else would be false hope, and I certainly didn’t have any inside information on the possibility of either one of her parents having more children.
When Ben caught up with us, we moved on to the snake house, and Elle ran down the length of the enclosure. She took a perch a few feet away from us, and her attention was focused completely on the animals. I leaned against the rail and turned to Ben. “I think she’s hoping she’s a wizard—” I broke off abruptly when I realized how close we were to each other. Our faces were only inches apart, and my heart leaped before I jumped back.
All I managed to do was catch the heel of my boot against the uneven cement to the floor and start to fall. My arms went flying out, but they weren’t what kept me from hitting the concrete.