“That’s great, Sam.” He gives me a funny look. I guess Sam isn’t his name after all. “You guys have a great time with her, I need to get to my desk. I don’t have any reason to be in the accounting department.”
I’m hoping that will be the end of it, but Sam, or whatever his name is, grabs my arm and drags me along. Like this woman is a circus freak and we all need to stare at her. Perfect first day for her, I’m sure.
“Look, she’s cute, isn’t she?” Sam whispers. “I’m going to ask her out. Do you think I have a chance?”
I part my lips, about to tell him to do whatever the hell he wants, but then I catch the eyes of the new woman and my heart stops beating. I feel so sick that I could throw up. This is a nightmare.
Jill? No, no, no. I’m supposed to be avoiding her while she’s in town looking after her dad. I’m not supposed to working in the same building as her. I can’t see her every single day.
I pinch myself to see if I am dreaming so I can wake myself up, but it hurts….
“Fuck.” I shake my head, unable to process. I spoke quietly, but I seem to have grabbed her attention. Jill’s eyes slide to me, and she locks her eyes on mine, staring at me in shock. “Oh, holy fuck.”
Okay, so clearly she didn’t know that I work here too. That shock in her eyes is genuine. But that does nothing to dull the rage pulsing through my body. This is the last thing I need.
I don’t know if Jill expects me to stay here and talk to her, but I have no intention of that. No fucking way.
With anger coursing through my veins, I spin on my heels and stalk off to the boss’s office. Harry has always had my back and I’m sure that he will again. I don’t know exactly what I intend to say, but I can’t work with her.
“Harry, what the fuck?” I barge into his office. “Why the fuck is Jill working here now? Is this a joke?”
“Jill?” He furrows his eyebrows together in confusion like he doesn’t understand how he just ruined my life. “Oh, are you talking about the new girl in accounts? What’s wrong with her? I think she is wonderful.”
“She’s my ex-girlfriend and not someone I can be around. I refuse to work with her.”
“I haven’t ever known you have a girlfriend, never mind an ex.” I don’t even dignify that with an answer. “But that isn’t a reason to not have her working here. Especially when you are in different departments.”
“You don’t understand, Harry,” I warn him. “This is more complicated than that.”
“I get relationships, Garrett, and I understand that things can be complicated, but this is a place of business. This isn’t where we air out our personal dirty laundry. You need to get over it.”
I can see in Harry’s eyes that he isn’t going to back down, he doesn’t understand the issue at all. Just because we won’t be in the same department, doesn’t mean that I won’t be affected being in the same building. It’s going to grate on me, but how do I explain that to Harry without having to bring up Sadie. I can’t talk about my sister, not here. Well, not ever actually.
“Fine, I’ll get back to work then,” I growl back. “Thank you for your help. Thanks a lot.”
***
I’m very aware that I have been unbearable to be around all day. No one wants to talk to me, and I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.
My mood sours even more towards the end of the day. The closer I get to escaping the office, the worse I feel. Usually when the end of the day is creeping up, I’m glad because it’s almost time to go home. Or, time to go to the bar and blow off some steam. But today, it feels like a time when I need to confront some things.
No, you don’t need to do anything. You just need to get through today, then tomorrow, however I can, just survive.
Survival mode is pretty much how I’ve gotten through four years, so I’m good at it. I’ve just got to get in the right head space to go on auto pilot and act like this doesn’t affect me, so it doesn’t affect my work. Jill coming back has already brought back feelings of guilt, sadness and anxiety. Her being in the same work space all day, has me frustrated and angry.
*Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring*
I grab my cell phone out of my pocket and press it to my ear as I see Benny’s name on the screen. I greet him with nothing more than a grunt because I’m still in the office right now.