“Hey, Garrett. You coming to the bar after work? I finished early so I will join you…”
“Erm, I don’t know.” I really don’t know what I plan to do. I can only focus on getting out of the office at the moment. One thing at a time. “Maybe, don’t wait on me, I’m not sure I am going to come.”
“Okay, no worries. I will get you one and if you don’t turn up then I will drink it.”
Is it a sad life? I used to think the people who headed straight to the bar every day as soon as they got off work were sad and disgusting, but now it’s me and I don’t like to think about that. But with Jill coming back into my life, I’m seeing everything through new eyes.
“Okay sure. I need to go because I’m still supposed to be working right now. See you soon.”
Thankfully, the day doesn’t take long to come to an end, which gives me time to think about what I want to do. I’m pretty sure that I will head to the bar because I could use the drink that Benny bought, but I also need his ear. Fucking Harry was useless to talk to, but Benny understands me.
Everything has changed now. My work will never be the same again. Parties, outings, team building shit… it will suck. Oh God, If Jill starts dating someone, I’m going to have to see it first hand and hear about it daily. What a nightmare.
And not because I want her because we tried that, and it got fucked up. No, I don’t need to date. If dating was going to be my thing, then I would have met someone by now. I have barely even tried over the last four years and the people who I have attempted anything with haven’t been able to connect anything deeper than surface level because I am broken. I’m a destroyed man too shattered to be fixed. Jill is half the reason why. We are both responsible for what happened. Together, we are a recipe for disaster.
We are not meant to be together. People who are destined to be together don’t kill people on the way to their happily ever after. It doesn’t work like that. There are far too many signs telling me not to go anywhere near her.
I can’t go to the bar tonight. As much as I want to see Benny, there is someone else that I need to see more. I have to go see Sadie again. Twice in one week isn’t usual for me, but this whole situation isn’t typical and I feel like talking to her the other day, helped me.
As I walk, I fire off a text to Benny to let him know that if I turn up to the bar it won’t be until later on. I don’t want him to be sitting around with two drinks at a table waiting for me. Maybe once I have gotten everything off my chest a bit, I will go.
Chapter 15 – Jill
What a day. I mean, there are no words. I can hardly think straight. This is the worst first day of a job that I have ever had… and I’ve been through a few.
Garrett Willis. I’ve tried my hardest not to think about him since I’ve been back. I’ve been holding on to the hope that he’s moved somewhere else to start a career he’s passionate about, thriving with a happy family. I guess he stayed for his mother, to be the man of the house just like he felt like he was supposed to.
I just can’t believe that I have ended up working at the same place as him. Of all the places to call me up and offer me a job, I can’t believe that it’s the same company. If this really is fate, it’s cruel and twisted. I guess this is one way to make us face our past. Son of a bitch.
The hate written all over his face. That’s what got me today. The way that he looked at me. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. I’m actually surprised he didn’t tell anyone else in the office about our prior connection, but he glared at me like I should stay out of his way. I thought that now after all these years, we might find a way to talk if we ever did cross paths, but I guess not. I guess he still feels those same things he yelled at me all those years ago.
People talked about his shitty mood all day long. Garrett’s mood was so bad that it shadowed the fact that there is a “new girl” here. I’m glad, because I haven’t ever enjoyed being the center of attention. Hearing about Garrett acting more out of character, moodier than normal…it was heavy, even though no one knew it was because of me, I knew.