“Oh my God, what was that?” I don’t know why I ask because I recognize that sound. It’s a direct message.
It’s Garrett We never communicated like this back in the day, even though we were sneaking moments whenever we could. It was always in person, when I was at the house. And now? We might work together, but we never really talk. Not since we sat at Sadie’s grave together. What could this even be about?
I know that I am going to read the message, but the anticipation is nauseating. Does he want to talk? Is he trying to be friends? Fuck….
Eventually, I click to see what is inside. I don’t know if the is worse or better than I was expecting.
Garrett Willis: Hi Jill, sorry to contact you like this but I don’t have your number. My mom wants to see you. She heard that you are back and she would love to spend some time with you. She misses you. She asked me to invite you over for dinner tonight. Does seven PM work?”
“Oh my God.” I feel sick. I haven’t seen Garrett’s mom, Annette since Sadie died. I didn’t even see her at the funeral, so now I don’t know what to say. “Oh my God, oh God.”
My hands clap to my mouth and I can hardly breathe. I don’t know what I should do. I owe Annette that much, don’t I? I think that a dinner would be nice, and it would be good for me to go and see her.
Jill Michaels: Sure, seven PM works. I will meet you there.
I don’t know why I just agreed to this, I must be losing my mind. I need to see Annette, to check that she is okay, and that she doesn’t hate my guts. She would have every right to hate, especially if she knew the truth.
This might turn out to be a good thing. It could be the start of something new. I’m just going to go into this with a positive attitude and hope for the best …
***
“I’m headed out, Dad.” I feel weird, like a teenager sneaking out all over again. “Are you okay?”
I lean over his chair to kiss him on the cheek, and I’m pleased to feel warmth there. He seems to be doing better, I think that my presence is making him happier, and healthier. I’m cooking and cleaning for him, keeping the house clean and it’s giving him time to heal. It makes me extremely grateful that I came back when I did.
“I’m good. You going out somewhere nice?” he asks, his voice even sounding stronger.
“Er, just out with some friends from work.” There isn’t any reason to lie to him, but I don’t want him to feel bad about me going to see Annette. He’s bound to have an opinion and it isn’t necessary for him to panic… yet. I can involve him later. If I need to. “I might be late.”
“Sure, sure. Don’t you worry about me. I will be fine. You go out and have a good time.”
There is no guarantee that this will be anything other than a nightmare, but I smile and nod anyway before I turn to leave. As I walk out the door, I lean back and blow a kiss to my dad.
“Love you, Dad.” I grin at him, lingering for a second longer than normal. I didn’t realize how much I missed him when I was gone. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that’s true. But what’s also true, is it allows you to look at the relationships in your life and appreciate the little things. I know I lost my mom when I was too young to know any better, but I don’t think I could have chosen a better guy to raise me.
“Love you too, sweetie. To the moon and back, you know that. Have a good time.”
I feel all warm and fuzzy as I leave the house. A feeling that is slowly disappearing as I get closer and closer to see Annette. It might be her house, but it’s still “Sadie’s” in my mind. My nerves are getting to me. The last time I was in this house was the graduation party, four years ago, when we were talking about college and how awesome it was going to be. God, it’s crazy. If only we had known then… even if I couldn’t stop Sadie getting killed, I would have hugged her a little tighter and held onto her for a little longer. I might never have let her go. I have replayed that night in my head a million times since then, and I would do anything to go back and change things. I would take Sadie’s place, I would stop us from even going to the party, I would break up with Garrett before Sadie could end up hurt if it meant she could stay. Much as I never would have wanted to, I would have done it for Sadie.