“You are such an asshole!” she yelled.
Piercing him straight through the heart.
But he’d known this was coming.
How could he not?
22
Nikki had been over a barrel a time or two before. Caught in a sticky situation, between a rock and hard place…all of that and more.
And yet…never like this.
She was used to high stakes. Of course, she was also accustomed to primarily knowing them upfront so that she could make educated guesses, smart moves, strategic plans.
But every twist and turn with Damen left her reeling. Left her helpless. Left her dangling by a thread.
Worse…it was more like that freefall feeling wrapped around sheer terror, which she’d experienced that day Conner’s helicopter had fallen from the sky.
She’d had no control over that.
She had no control over this.
And yet it was still so different.
Yes, she would attest and accept that Damen was doing what Damen had to do. As Conner had done. And Damen was acting to the best of his ability without knowing all the variables. Same with Conner. Wind shifts and downdrafts and engine failure were not something easily contended with when one was in the air. Nor was someone else operating secretively/duplicitously or people shooting up an SUV or…
Her eyes squeezed shut once more.
Her fists balled at her sides.
She’d never blamed Conner for what had happened to him.
She couldn’t reasonably blame Damen for all that had transpired between them. Not just the hazardous situation or the confiscation of her computer, but also the fact that, as he’d stated, yes…she willingly had joined him in his bed.
Hell, she’d done so much more than that.
“Nikki.”
That one word was spoken softly; however, it echoed around her and reverberated deep within her.
He was remorseful. Full of regret.
She not only heard it in his voice, but she felt it, deep in her soul.
That didn’t keep the fury from ripping through her.
And it sure as hell didn’t keep her from wanting to cry a river over all she’d potentially lost. Again.
“I can handle whatever is going through your mind right now,” he very carefully prompted her. “You don’t have to keep it all contained, keep it inside. You can scream at me. You can throw things, break things, tear through this room from one corner to the other. You won’t disturb anyone.”
Her stomach coiled.
He was too perfect, even when she was furious with him.
Damen was just as mired in this bleak reality as she was and yet his biggest concern was how she responded to it. He was willing to shoulder the blame, take the brunt of her angst and pain, despite how it wrecked him.
And Nikki had no doubt all of this wrecked him.