“Drink your coffee. It accentuates the flavors. It’s one of my favorite desserts,” Arik said absently, trying anything to help push the intense desire aside, his voice a little husky as he watched Kellus chew then swallow the bite. His gaze fixated on those sexy neck muscles contracting as the food slid all the way down Kellus’s throat, imagining that throat working around his cock.
Then when Kellus’s tongue rested on the side of the coffee cup to take the sip, Arik rolled his eyes to the back of his head. He forced his gaze away because all he was doing was torturing himself. Stop it! He mentally scolded himself as he reached for his own coffee, minus the tequila, which he really needed in bulk right now.
“Be honest with me. What can we do to help relieve your worry about sex?” he asked.
When Kellus looked up, then around, Arik decided he may have said that a little too loudly and lowered his voice. This time he wasn’t going to let the subject go until he got an answer. That tongue needed to guide his dick inside that sweet mouth as soon as possible.
“What about the clinic you go to. Can we talk to someone there?”
“Maybe,” Kellus answered noncommittally. His finger slid up the side of the chocolate cup where a drip left a small trail of sweetness. He brought that fingertip to his mouth and Arik’s eyes followed.
Seconds passed before he responded. “Why do you say it like that?”
Kellus took another drink of the coffee, a much longer one this time. That made Arik smile. His guy was nervous, maybe thinking something through. As expected, once he lowered the coffee cup to the table, Kellus confirmed his anxiety by automatically lifting a hand to his hair, pushing it away from his forehead. Arik patiently took a bite of the churro, waiting for whatever excuse Kellus dropped in his way.
“I’ve tried to be upfront about everything I have going on,” Kellus said, like that explained or answered anything.
Arik nodded, then waited. When no other details came, he nodded again, unsure of Kellus’s point. “I agree. I think you’ve given me a clear picture of your life. Now explain to me why you’re hesitant to talk to a professional about the risk of us being together.”
“What are you wanting from me?” Kellus asked defensively, his handsome face contorting into uncertainty.
“Just a chance,” he answered patiently, his eyes never leaving Kellus’s face.
The lines on Kellus’s forehead deepened in question. “A chance for what?”
“A chance at our future,” Arik replied honestly and put the churro back on the plate, then reached for a napkin. “I’m not trying to scare you or jump the gun, but I want some dedicated, long-term time with you. I want to explore this with you and see where it might take us. It’s truly that simple.”
Kellus’s hand raked through his hair again, and Arik caught a flash of panic in those blues eyes before they shifted down to the table. He lifted the coffee cup and drained its contents in one long gulp. Kellus straightened in his seat, then twisted as he raised his hand to signal for the waitress, before knocking Arik’s leg away in an attempt to reach for his wallet. His guy seemed to look everywhere but at him.
“We agreed I’m paying for us when we’re together,” Arik said, quickly pulling out his wallet.
“I never agreed to that,” Kellus shot back, this time with a hard edge to his tone as their gazes collided.
“Yes, you did. By omission.” When the waitress came toward them, Arik placed his hand in front of Kellus’s credit card and made it clear to the waitress, in no uncertain terms. “I’m paying for this dinner.”
The waitress’s hands went in the air as he pulled his credit card from his wallet to hand her his American Express. She had a moment of indecision as to which card to take before grasping his and leaving them sitting there. Arik turned back to Kellus and spoke firmly, hoping to regain some of the casual attitude they’d shared throughout dinner before things went so drastically sideways in a matter of about a minute.
“Calm down and tell me what just happened.”
Kellus gave him the most incredulous look. “I’ve been talking about me for the last twenty-four hours. You know the ugly truth, all of it. Even things I haven’t told anyone else. Nobody in their right mind should want to be anywhere near my mess. You could certainly find someone with much less baggage than me to fuck.”
Arik’s brow furrowed. This time, he turned to look around, see who might have heard that outburst. By the looks cast their way, they had definitely drawn the interest of the people around them. Arik leaned toward Kellus, lowered his voice, and spoke very clearly as he pinned Kellus with his stare. “Yes, I’m certain I could find someone with less baggage to fuck. Because fucking doesn’t require that I know anything about the person. It doesn’t require that I eat meals with them or spend the day getting to know them. I can have my dick serviced at the drop of a hat, because…yes, there are plenty of willing mouths and bodies to see to it. But they’re not what I want. I want you, Kel. I’m attracted to you on a completely different level. And I’m trying to do everything I can think of to show you that.”