**
“I’m nervous. What if seeing me upsets him?” I feel like I may throw up any second now. Killian is following behind my Aunt Sandy to the assisted living facility where my dad is cared for. We met up with her after breakfast and she gave me a list of his favorite snacks. I was so flustered in the store Killian had to take over and make my purchases for me.
“You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he promises.
I fidget with my locket that Hayley gave me hoping this goes well.
Killian parks next to Sandy, and I hesitate to get out of the car.
“Just
breathe, baby. I’m here.” Killian has the passenger side door open and is squatting on the pavement. “Look at me.” I meet his stare. “You’re a wonderful person. You don’t owe him anything and you don’t have to go in there and meet him if you don’t want to. No one will force you. Or if we get in there and you decide you aren’t ready all you gotta do is say the word and we’ll leave.” He squeezes my hand to reassure me.
“Okay.” I wipe at my eyes where I started to cry.
“You ready?”
I shake my head but get out of the car.
Killian wraps his arms around me and that feeling of being cherished and safe soothes me.
Sandy has been staying back to give me space, and I love her for it. She’s not being pushy like Mom swore she would be about this. My boyfriend grabs the stuff we bought from the trunk and we follow Sandy inside the facility.
We enter a second set of doors where we are met by a security guard. Sandy gives him a code and once he checks over our bags we are allowed inside. The three of us have to go to a reception desk where we all have to sign in and provide valid identification.
A nurse leads us down a hall to where my father is going to be brought for the visit. I’m shaking and my knee keeps bouncing. Killian smiles at me and places his hand on my leg to still me. The nurse who showed us to the room returns and she is pushing my father in his wheelchair.
He’s skinny and is wearing a baseball cap. His smile is crooked. Sandy said he suffered a stroke a few months ago and he lost feeling in part of his face. He has use of his hands, but he isn’t very coordinated.
“Sandy.” He smiles at his sister. His gaze moves to Killian and then me. “Who this?” He seems happy at least.
Sandy leans forward and takes his hands in hers. “I brought someone special to see you today. Remember our talks about the little girl in your pictures?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” He says the word three times in eager succession. He turns his head to the side and smiles. He looks at the bags sitting on the table. “Wh-what you bring me?” His tone holds the joy of a kid on Christmas morning.
“We’ll get to that. I want you to meet, Liri.”
“Li-Li-Liri,” he sounds out my name and his eyes meet mine.
“My….my.” He pulls his hands from her grasp and he smacks at his chest over his heart. “My da-daughter.”
“Yes. Your daughter. This is her boyfriend.”
He gets a weird look on his face and addresses Killian. “Tr-treat her right.”
“I promise,” Killian tells him, and I start to cry. It’s too much. I don’t know if I can do this.
My father motions to the nurse to scoot him in front of me. “C-can I?” He reaches his hand out for my face, and I lean forward. His fingers are clumsy, and he pokes me in the nose and eye on accident as he explores my features. “Be-be-beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I suck in a breath and try to dry my tears.
“Grown up. Grown up.”
“Yes, she is all grown up. She brought you some of your favorite snacks.”
“I drew you a picture,” I tell him, and he smiles that crooked grin at me. It hurts to see him this way, but I know I needed to come. Killian moves to get the portrait I have been working on of the picture that is in my locket Hayley gave me. When he hands it to my father, he studies it for a minute then his face contorts, and he snarls.
“Not me. Not me,” he yells and starts ripping the corner.