**
“Hey, I am on my way out to pick up Nate. Are you sure you’re okay to run the bar?”
Audrey nods her head, but she has that lost dead expression in her eyes. Today is not going to be a good one for her.
“I don’t know if Nate will want to come by here today but if he does I want you to prepare yourself for seeing him. Him and Joe looked more like twins than Nate and me. I just don’t want you to get freaked out.”
“I’m good. I swear. Besides, Lewis is working today.”
Bless him. I hope they don’t fight. Lewis is losing his patience with her. I understand where he is coming from but at the same time Joe was my brother and he’d want us to all be here for Audrey in her time of need.
Chapter 5
Nate
Coming home is nothing like I was expecting. I thought I would be getting to have a beer with my brother, but life had other plans. I always thought I’d be the one to die. Joe JR was the smart one growing up. He did everything he was supposed to while I was always getting into trouble. He talked me into enlisting. Said it would give me the discipline I needed and save Ma from a broken heart. I just knew that one day out on patrol I’d drive over an IED and lose a limb or get blown to pieces. I have seen it happen enough times. I’ve witnessed a lot of bad shit I wish I could forget. Dead babies, fallen soldiers. I shake my head and try not to think about the visions that keep me from getting any sleep. They haunt me nightly. Being over there during the war…it was a damn nightmare.
I d
on’t know what made me think catching a train home was a good idea. Every screech has me gripping the edge of my leather seat and gritting my teeth, while praying I don’t freak the fuck out. I was officially diagnosed with PTSD before I was discharged and put on medication to help me cope with life. But I hate taking that shit, it makes me feel like a Goddamn zombie. However, I shake out a few pills into my palm and toss them down my throat, so I can make it home without an incident.
I hate being this way—depending on pills…going to therapy. It’s all bullshit. Nothing can change what I saw over there. Nothing can change the fact that my brother, my best friend in life won’t be waiting to greet me when I exit this train.
When I enlisted, he was so damn proud of me. Told me I was doing the right thing. That Ma would be so proud seeing me in my uniform. Seeing me become a real man.
The train finally comes to a stop. I grab my duffel bag and step onto the platform where my twin sister, Natalie, is waiting for me. First she smiles and then she cries before wrapping her arms around me. “Welcome home, Nate.” Her hair gets tangled in my dog tags and she giggles.
“Nattie,” I choke out needing her hug more than she knows. Being home is bittersweet. Joe should be here too. I can’t believe he’s really gone. His death still hasn’t actually hit me. I keep waiting for him to jog across the platform and make a wisecrack about my buzz cut. Telling me my ears stick out too much and I will never get laid with a mug as ugly as mine even though we could pass for identical twins.
“Come on let’s get out of here.” My sister wipes at her eyes and her nose.
“I figured we could run by the bar and I can show you your apartment. Maybe introduce you to Audrey and the crew. Ya know before Ma gets a hold of ya.”
“Sure, sounds good.” I don’t tell her what I could use is a cold one to take the edge off.
I follow Natalie to her Toyota. I can’t wait to get back on my bike. I haven’t ridden it in two years. Every time I would get set to come home, something would come up, and it would make more sense for me to wait. Joe JR always swore that he would get a Harley too and we’d go on the road together. And now that I am home it’s too late and my brother is gone. We lost three years that we won’t get to make up. Time waits for no one. I missed our grandfather’s funeral and now I missed out saying goodbye to my brother, my best friend. I want to see the place that I am to call home, but I don’t know how I am going to deal not having Joe around. Sure, I’ve been away while I was enlisted and serving my tour of duty, but this is Clemons, where I grew up, with my brother by my side.
I never expected he’d die so young. It should have been me. I’m the fuck up. The embarrassment to the family name.
The drive to the bar goes quickly. The front windows are tinted lightly to allow privacy. The brick has been painted black and the gold sign out front really stands out.
A few potted plants decorate the side patio. A sense of pride washes over me. My siblings really fixed this place up and made it look classy.
Inside, a brunette with hot legs is leaning across the bar and eating the fruit from the bar. She sees me staring and her face turns pale. The strawberry she was just devouring hits the bar top and her mouth hangs open. I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered. I keep studying her, something about her is so familiar, but I don’t know why.
Natalie walks in behind me and nudges me in the rib. “That’s Audrey.”
I clear my throat.
Fuck, the hottie is my brother’s girl. I should have known by the way he talked about her in his emails.
Audrey picks her jaw up and waves awkwardly, and then it hits me how much I must look like Joe to her even though my hair is different from his. Natalie gave me a brief description of Audrey but I wasn’t prepared for how breathtakingly beautiful yet sad she appears.
Suddenly I want that beer I wanted to have with Joe.
“I can’t do this,” Audrey whispers and runs to the kitchen.
“She’s having a really hard time,” Natalie offers as explanation.