“We all are,” I snap at her making an excuse for Audrey. She doesn’t need one. I know it must fucking hurt to see my face.
I help myself to a beer. My sister starts to comment, and I give her the stink eye to shut her up. I can have a Goddamn beer before noon if I want to. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I take up the stool at the end of the bar.
“Sweet mother of a ghost.” Lewis crosses his chest and kisses my cheek. “Been a while, handsome.”
“Long time no see, man.” I down the rest of my beer. Lewis was always a friend in school. He grew up about two blocks down from our house.
“Guess your mug showing up explains why Audrey is in the cooler having a panic attack.”
Damn it.
“Is she okay?” Nattie squawks.
“On the verge of slitting her wrists like every other day.” Lewis rolls his eyes.
“I’ll go check on her. Sooner she gets used to my face the better things will be I guess,” I state, starting to get up.
“Let me go.” My sister shoves around me. “Lewis can show you upstairs to your apartment.”
“Looks like I get you all to myself, sweet thing.” He flashes his trademark dimpled smile at me.
“Lewis, we both know there isn’t a damn thing about me that’s sweet.” I chuckle as we head out the front door and around the side of the building to the apartment entrance.
He hands me a set of keys. “The red one unlocks the stairwell, the blue one is for the bar, and the green one is for your apartment. Natalie has the apartment on the right and you are next to Audrey on the left and share the balcony with her. Nattie said the walls were too thin and you weren’t here to argue.” He waggles his brows.
“Right.” I roll my eyes and run my hand over my head.
I take the keys and Lewis returns to the bar to prepare for the lunch crowd.
My apartment is bare other than a couch and appliances. It’s all I need for now. I know Ma will want me to stay with her, but with the way I sleep, or the way I don’t sleep I should say, I’d feel better being here. But first, I need to get my motorcycle. It’s in the garage at my parent’s house. I can’t wait to get out on the road and clear my head. It’s been too long since I’ve felt the peace of the open road and the rumbling of my bike.
I keep picturing Audrey’s hurt expression in my head. What can I do though? I can’t change my face. I go to lock up and head downstairs when I hear her sobs melting through my wall.
I hate to hear a woman cry, it triggers feelings and memories I don’t want to remember. My hands start to shake, I have to grip the kitchen counter and take a deep breath. My mind flashes to a year ago.
I’m doing door to door checks for members of al-Qaeda. Dario Erol is believed to be in this poor farming village. Kicking in the door I am met by a woman with a newborn clinging to her breast. She’s crying and shoving the baby into my arms saying she doesn’t have milk to feed him. Checking her home while holding her baby wasn’t at the top of my list, but she refused to take him back. His cry was weak, hungry. I knew he was going to die, and there was nothing I could do for either of them.
A loud crash snaps me out of the past. Audrey, Joe’s girl. Sounds like she’s breaking plates.
I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid of setting her off more. I hesitate unsure of what to do. I don’t know if I can handle her mental breakdown while trying to keep from having one of my own.
Natalie saves me from the burden of decision when she knocks lightly and asks if I am ready to head over to see Ma.
I take a deep breath and scrub my hands over my face. “Yeah,” I call out, hoping my voice holds.
Chapter 6
Natalie
“Is living next to me going to be a problem for Audrey?” Nate questions as we get in the car.
“I don’t think so. I mean, she will get used to seeing you, in time. She really loved Joe, ya know?” I hope that Nate being around might do Audrey some good. Be the hard dose of reality she needs to snap her back to the land of the living. I’m not saying she needs to start dating or anything. However, getting out of her manic-depressive spiral would be a start.
“Is she paying us rent for her apartment? How does that all work?”
I swallow and think of my next words carefully. Nate, like Ma, doesn’t seem to be an Audrey fan. He doesn’t know her, yet. She’s a wonderful person, she’s just a bit lost right now. Joe JR kept her grounded. He was her world.
“As I’ve told you, Audrey was living with Joe, and well he was planning to propose that night. He had asked Ma for Grandma Mundie’s ring. It was in his pocket when he died…” I have to choke back my tears to continue. If only I was a good sister and had just been happy for him. I shake my head continuing with what I want to say. “Joe, well...you know how practical he was. He had a plan for everything. He knew he wanted to spend his life with Audrey from the start. When Grandfather left us the money, Joe had a Will made up.” I steal a glance at my brother. He’s looking out the window, only when he looks at me and nods for me to finish I see that he is listening. “He left his part of the business and his apartment to Audrey, she’s now our third partner.”