A full day has passed. Audrey has felt cold and distant. She’s avoiding me. Maybe the fair was too much too soon. I’m trying to give her space. I know she is still grieving my brother. God knows I would give anything to bring him back. I’d gladly take his place but there is a part of me, a very selfish part of me that wants to keep Audrey for myself.
I’ve never really had anyone good. Audrey doesn’t see it yet, but maybe she could be my good.
We’re closing together, and she’s had a few shots too many. All of our customers have taken off, including our staff.
I’m wiping down the counter when I see her take to the stage. She’s stumbling, and her makeup is smeared.
Thunder rumbles making her jump. The lights flicker, and she starts to sing, The Thunder Rolls, by Garth Brooks.
I can’t help but chuckle, not only at her choice of song, but also at the way she prances around the stage as though she were giving the performance of a lifetime.
She continues to belt out the lyrics, ignoring my presence completely as I turn the chairs up over the tables.
I go through the kitchen after making sure the backdoor is locked, and I turn down the lights.
When I get back out front, Audrey is behind the bar downing another shot. “One for the road.” She holds the glass up in my direction and I shake my head. Under different circumstances, I could easily see myself being able to fall hard for her. Only whenever I think about a future with her, I am reminded of Joe JR and that she was his girl not mine.
I grab tonight’s deposits to put them in the safe. “If you want to go upstairs, I can handle locking the door,” I offer knowing she needs to get in bed. She’s turned off the sound system and most of the lights. I’m not strong enough to get her upstairs to her bed and leave without touching her a second time. She nods, and I go to the office to finish up.
After dropping the money in the safe, I grab my keys from the desk and make for the bar. One more beer won’t hurt, and it gives me an excuse to stay down here, instead of upstairs where Audrey is.
The rai
n starts to pour, and lightning is crackling in the sky. Looks like I’ll be here a bit longer.
I toss my empty bottle in the trash and play some darts alone in the dark with the storm to keep me company. It isn’t long before fantasies of what could have been had I chose to follow Audrey upstairs take over my thoughts.
I would wrap my fingers up in her long thick hair, getting a fistful, pulling her head back, and giving her a heated kiss. She’d moan and lean into me as I strip her body bare of any clothes. Her breasts would spill out of her white lace bra, her nipples hard, eager to be teased by my mouth and fingers.
My cock grows harder the more I imagine touching her, claiming her for my own. I don’t know why I am torturing myself. She doesn’t want me, but the man she cries for is dead and gone.
I put the darts away and lock the door since the rain is coming down lighter now. Time to go upstairs and jerk off while I think about a woman I shouldn’t crave.
Chapter 14
Audrey
I’ve been sitting the breakfast bar eating toast to chase away the small buzz I had from earlier. It’s late and I’m thinking of things I should leave alone.
The steady pelts of rain against my windowsill are the only comfort I seek. Joey loved the rain, almost as much as he loved me. Now that he’s gone, the rain is the only thing that brings me peace. Slipping one of his old flannels over my camisole and panties I pad across the apartment stepping out on the covered balcony. The damp breeze blows my hair around my face. I take a seat in the wooden rocker, putting my knees up, and resting my chin on the tops. I feel stupid for thinking of Nate in a sexual manner. My fantasies are keeping me awake.
I sit and listen as the rain continues to fall. Seeking silence, seeking an escape from all that Joey and I shared. Some days I think I should just pack up and go, but then I catch a glimpse of my neighbor, Joey’s brother—Nate. When look at him…I feel like I can’t breathe. He makes me feel like I could live again. Like I could someday love again.
He looks so much like his brother, but they are nothing alike. Where Joey was calm and sweet, Nate is loud, cold, and at times rude. He’s a hard man, but for some reason I like knowing he’s next door. I like knowing that there is someone just as fucked up as me in this world.
I hear him screaming in his sleep and beating against the wall some nights. Natalie says he suffers from PTSD, from the war.
I don’t know much about combat, but I know a lot about demons stalking you at night, and keeping you awake.
I stare through the drizzle to the moon, wishing and hoping on a star for time to roll back to that morning so I could force Joey to stay in bed with me. Back to a time when life seemed perfect and easy. A time where things made sense. A time where I didn’t have dirty thoughts about my dead boyfriend’s brother.
Chilled to the bone, I move to go inside when I notice Nate leaning against our shared railing, staring at the moon, allowing the spray of rain wash over him. I wonder if he’s thinking of me too and wishing that he wasn’t.
I know I need to go in and give him some privacy, but my feet won’t budge. He’s standing in nothing but a pair of drawstring pajama pants that hang low on his hips. My gaze travels his body, taking in the massive phoenix tattoo that covers his back, I don’t stop checking him out until I reach his bare feet.
As if he feels the heat of my stare, he turns around facing me.
“Couldn’t sleep. I never can when it rains. I love the sound too much to let it be wasted.” He rakes his fingers through his hair, and a drop of water hits my exposed thigh sending a shiver down my spine.