I load the groceries in the back, and I get choked up. Every second closer we get to the apartment is one second I’m closer to losing her.
“Hey.” Liri grabs my hand. “You know you’re probably not even going to miss me.”
“I’ll miss you every second of every day until I get you back.” I feel like a pussy when tears race down my cheeks.
“Hey, I thought I was the cry baby in this relationship,” she teases and wipes at my face with her dainty fingers. I bring them to my mouth and kiss the tips.
“I don’t know how I can watch you walk away.” If there was ever a time for honesty, it’s in the moment a man is about to lose it all.
“Don’t be sad. You’re going to be so busy hanging out with your nieces and your dad. Your brother and your Mom. I’m sure you and Liam will be racing.”
“Fuck Liam.”
“He fucked up, but he’s still your friend. He’s sorry for what happened.”
“Yeah. He’s the best.” I scowl. “You can forgive him but not me.”
“That’s not fair. Let’s not make today about all that stuff.”
“Okay.”
“We better get this food back to your place.”
It’ll always be ours to me.
Back at the apartment we’ve managed to get the pizza in the oven, and Liri is on the couch flipping through channels searching for us a movie. I sink down next to her and pull her into my lap. “Can we just skip the movie and go straight to dessert?” I nuzzle under her neck, and her fingers strum through my hair lazily.
“Don’t be greedy.” Her lips find mine. Soft and full of love, the kiss is slow, deep, and sensual. Rubbing my fingers over her breasts, I know I need to slow down and enjoy what’s she’s giving me—a real goodbye. I know it’s not a second chance, but my heart won’t accept that. I’m not ready to give her up, but I know I can’t keep her. I don’t deserve to. She’s way too good for me, but I’m selfish enough to keep taking anything she’ll give me.
Breaking away, I glance around the apartment, and my heart sinks. All of her stuff is gone other than what she left in the bathroom. “I smell the bottom of the pizza.”
“I’ll check it.” she pops up from my lap, and I peek at the screen.
“This is what you want to watch?” I chuckle.
“Mhmm.” She nods, and I try to stop focusing on the fact that she’s going to be going halfway across the world, but its damn hard.
“What are you doing for Christmas?”
“I have plans with my family.”
“Oh. Yeah?”
“Mom and I are going to Paris to hunt for my apartment and check out the program.”
“I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”
“I’m excited.” That weird epression flickers in her eyes as she comes back to the couch.
“You good?”
“Yeah. The pizza is almost ready. I can’t wait to dig in and find out if you were playing dumb before at not being able to cook.”
“I’ve managed to survive.”
“Hmm…that’s something you can work on while I’m in Paris. I bet your mom would love to teach you.”
“I guess.”